Matt and Trey Answer the Twenty Questions

From the interview provided by Beef-Cake. com
Transcribed by Willie Westwood

Matt Stone: Your latest coup… is winning the Best Musical performance on MTV Movie Awards, Mary_Luv- Loves_Timmah. How do you feel about winning the award for "Uncle Fucka"? Trey?

Trey: Uh I just, I mean, I love- I just like going to the MTV's, the MTV Movie Awards were sooo oo much cooler to go to than the Academy Awards, just 'cause um, it was so much more entertaining, and there were just way cooler people there. [laughs] And, the Academy Awards were just about Hollywood… sort of standing up and patting themselves on the back, and… the MTV Awards were about entertainment, which is what it should be about.
Taison: And the fans voted on it.
Trey: Yeah.
Taison: Which is all cool and all.
Trey: It was all very… it was like, not serious, and all just kinda tongue-in-cheek and, you know, it duh didn't take itself that seriously, and that's why it was cool, whereas the Academy Awards tried to target the… you know, royalty…, you know, the queens and kings of, of the world and… you know, that, that, it uh, it's much cooler to have an MTV award for something that's cool like that. It's always good.

Matt: Well-
Trey: DVDA is playing the instruments.
Matt: Yeah, and James, James Hetfield did the uh… they were, thery were quoted on, on Metallica's Web site.
Trey: Oh.
Matt: They did it, yeah, but it's like-
Trey: Yeah, but someone who James is like you know, "Yeah, I wanna do it, I wanna do it," and he's like, "Well, don't put my name on it."
Matt: Yeah, he didn't wanna be credited, um. But we got a hold of him through Les Claypool, his friends and all the guys in Metallica-.
Trey: And I think it's just that typical thing of like,… un we definitely know how it is, like, as soon as he's on there in the credits, then all of a sudden everyone wants him to do-
Taison: Yeah.
Trey: -Do that in other movies. Who he's said "no, I…" Who, who he's, he's just said before, like, "I ju- I just don't do that."
Taison: M-hm.
Trey: So suddenly, if he did, it looks weird, but it wasn't.
Taison: M'kay.

Matt: We keep writing new material and playing it for… for other people all the time.
Trey: Yeah.
Matt: [laughs] We keep writing new songs, but uh-. We wanna, We uh I, I, we'd love to do an album. We've always talked about it; it's just a matter of time. You know, you know unfortunately, we have… the TV show, and soon another TV show.
Trey: To see what's cool, and and we've done so many songs that we've played of enough that, like, we're startin' to know what our really good songs are, and… we actually- we did that a few more times, we played out for another six months and we would, we would have it down to like… a great album's worth of songs-
Matt: Like an EP.
Taison: Do you have anything recorded though, like-?
Matt: No.
Trey: No, not really. Just jam sessions
Matt: Yeah, they were never recorded.
Trey: Everything we recorded was because, you know, we needed it for…-
Matt: For…
Trey: …for… the movie, or for Kenny, whatever…
Matt: Yep.

Matt: Trey-
Trey: I did.
Matt: Trey did the voice for him, the Mole.
Taison: M'kay.
Trey: And it was pretty funny 'cause it got to the point where Paramount was like, "You know, these voices just all sound like Trey." [laughs] 'Cause, like, I did Gregory,-
Matt: You did Gregory, yeah.
Trey: -and I'd do the Mole, and they're like, "This little thin- it's just obviously Trey," and it's like, "Well, that's just part of what South Park is," you know what I mean? And it's like, people… And especially now- I mean the-m it's so funny 'cause now Matt and I have so run out of voices that we could do
Matt: We just self-recycle.
Trey: We do people, and they all just sound the same, and it's like, "Well, that sounds like Stan's dad, and that's the-" and that's just like, that's the beauty of it. And actually it was Mike Judge who first pointed that out. He's like, "That's what I think is cool about it," so…
Matt: It uh, it takes on, it makes it look like us, just two guys puttng on a puppet show.
Trey: Yeah [laughs]
Matt: "Red Rider. It's… a little hungry."
Taison: But… You guys just brought Dian in to do, like, a new voice, right?
Trey: Yeah, because sometimes-
Matt: Sometimes we will.
Trey: Yeah. Just- Ih it really is, uh… You know, it's more about a creative dynamic than it is… It's just like you bring Dian in and you know he's gonna bring somethin' to it that we wouldn't. You know what it is-.
Matt: And uh, well also, we always- get people tuh-. A lot of times we get guests pe- when we want it to be a normal, straight, normal guy.
Trey: Yeah. Just because our normal straight guys have been so overused.
Matt: Yeah, we just can't do the vo-, we- no affectation, no cartoon, it's just a normal voice.
Taison: Uh-huh.
Matt: And our normal voices are all over the show, se we can't
Taison: Yeah.
Matt: So we kinda really need a normal guy. We really need it. We do.
Taison: Okay.

Matt: Well, not a… not really a fifth. He's kind of…
Trey: He's kind of kick-ass. Think of it: he's been in almost every- I mean… The thing is that Timmy started as… just a joke-
Matt: A joke.
Trey: - I was writing the thing about um… the Tooth Fairy script. I was writing… er, I had, I had, um… Matt and Nancy had written this thing where Kenny was getting his tooth pulled out, and they're trying to, er, Kenny was getting his tooth pulled out and they're tryin' to do somethin'. And so I changed- I was like, "Well, we can make this funnier. Let's make it- There's a handicapped kid in a wheelchair, and that's who's trying to pull his tooth out." Aaand so we just- and this thing
Matt: And it was just supposed to be a one-op. It was gonna be that one time.
Trey: Yeah, it was gonna be that sketch. It wasn't gonna be anything. And it was really funny, 'cause Comedy Central was so against it, and they're like, "this re- you know, handicapped kid".
Taison: Uh huh.
Trey: "No, don't do it"
Matt: And we're like, "What?" Yeah.
Trey: And we're like, "Well, uh. Oh, come on, it's one scene. It's no big deal."
Matt: "We'll end up at the-g" I mean, the kid's not like we… "hurt" the kid any time of the day, and he's psyched.
Trey: Yeah. He's, he's stoked to be Timmy or whatever.
Matt: Yeah!
Trey: So, we argued with them and they finally let us do it, and in, just, in that episode, everyone's like, "Timmy. Timmy." Everyone's like sooho stoked on Timmy..
Matt: Well, we were stoked and we knew before it aired that we were like, "Oh, we don't wanna quote Timmy anymore," but we liked it.
Trey: [as Matt speaks] Yeah. So like… two episodes later we did… the Timmy show…
Taison: Uh huh.
Trey: …and did a whole show about him, and since then he's made an appearance in almost every show.
Matt: Almost. Yeah. Almost every one.
Taison: M'kay

Trey: There's so many…
Matt: There's so many…
Trey: Almost every single show.
Matt: Most shows don't get- I mean, even on, like, for us, that Elian episode… For us, in this building, work on the show wasn't barely felt any different than any other episode
Trey: Yeah.
Matt: In fact, we, and we… didn't do anything to like… we thought it'd be cool, you know what I mean, but we the shows like that all the time, where we're doin' it that week, and then we didn't even think that it was anything that big a deal, we stuck it out, and then all, that was like comletely all the press that came from that episode was completely not engineered. That was really recorded watching it, going "Holy shit," and making a phone call. That was not Comedy Central going out and getting press over us. I mean. We didn't think anything different, cause we do- almost- I'd say almost every show.
Trey: Every show, ih ih if people saw, and actually our, Frank, our producer, he says, "If people could see the shows that exist the Friday before before it airs compared to Tuesday before it airs,"
Matt: Compared to Sunday before it airs.
Trey: "It is an absolutely different show, and it's usually not very funny." It's like, it, uh, everything happens, sort of over the weekend, and, you know, it needs-.
Taison: Is, like, the script being changed over the weekend, or is-
Matt: Yeah.
Taison: -actually the animation also-
Trey: Oh, uh yeah, the animation also gets done.
Taison: -is all redone?
Matt: …and then, as we're. And then we sit down like on Sunday night and watch it and go, "Oh this is, this is really funny. Let's do it agian" or "make this funnier" or…
Trey: You know, this doesn't… take. Cut this whole scene out. Nothing- this doesn't work
Matt: This is stupid; cut this out, yeah. And then, well actually, the, the shows we… make the most changes to are revisions to all the best shows, generally.
Trey: And I actually, uh one funny thing, it wasn't… Probably, uh, another thing among "the most revisions" line is, we had uh, last two years, Halloween episode with Korn?
Taison: M-hm.
Trey: Uh, Frank said that, if we put together all the footage that we actually animated for that show, it would have been over seventy minutes.
Taison: Wow.
Trey: That's how much was cut out for…
Matt: Yeah. We… we… we did overtime on that show
Taison: Okay.
Matt: That's funny.

Matt: Well Cannibal! they did release a DVD. Um, Troma just released a DVD of Cannibal:
Trey: Yeah, and it's actually pretty funny 'cause we did a director's thing over at- and we, we, said at the beginning we had to do it with bottles of Scotch, and we said, "we're gonna do this, but we're gonna drink Scotch while we watch it."
Matt: We had me-
Trey: "And you can-"
Matt: With me and Trey, and we had-
Trey: [whispers] Damn!
Matt: -Andy Kemler and Dian Bachar and Jason McHugh.
Trey: And Andy Kemler
Matt: And Andy Kemler- the the, the people we know in town were in that movie.
Trey: Yeah.
Taison: Uh huh.
Trey: And so we're all sitting there and we all have microphones and we're all just getting drunk, and you can hear us getting drunker and drunker and drunker, and then the last, like fiftenn minutes of the movie, we're not even talking about the movie anymore. We're just talking about chicks and stuff. [laughs] We just got completely wasted. It was pretty sweet, actually.
Matt: But they asked us to do it, but they're, you know, "Ask Trey".or both of us, or somethin'- I can't remember, but to do a director's commentary for the… for the South Park movie-
Taison: Uh huh.
Matt: -DVD? But, it was like a month after we finished,-
Taison: M'yeah.
Matt: -and we were like, "Fuck that," you know. You know, "Fuck those director's things — they're just so… fuckin'…"-
Trey: It's like, let the movie be the movie.
Matt: The movie speaks for its-
Trey: At least for a couple of years.
Taison: Yeah
Trey: Shyeah. [Matt laughs] I mean, with a little distance, now it's like, "well, maybe that would be good"-
Matt: Yeah, yeah.
Trey: -but at the time we were like, "Oh my God, no, I don't wanna talk one more second about that movie"
Matt: Yeah… [pause]
Trey: But it was pretty funny, too, 'cause the, the Packer one, we hadn't seen Cannibal! in so long.
Matt: Yeah, that was good.
Trey: We're all sittin' there and we're like, "This movie's sweet!" [bursts into laughter] and we're all just like laughin' and shit
Matt: Yeah. And maybe someday…

Trey: No. There- Unfortunately it's not that cool. It really is, just, I didn't want- at the beginning of Cannibal!, I didn't want it to say, you know, "a Trey Parker film starring Trey Parker," cause I, I thought, that would give- You see that in a movie, and you immediately have something against it. I do, anyway, you know, and it's just like, "Oh, okay, fuck this" immediately.
Matt: Yeah.
Trey: So I was like, I don't want it to- I don't- I don't want it to look like the director is also the star. I, I think you have a strike against you when you start off that way

Trey: Oh, we decided… never to touch that subject ever again.
Matt: Yeah.
Trey: It pissed off too many people.
Matt: Yeah. I mean, that was the whole, that was the whole funny thing. We thought about that payoff, is that, "Here you go. Here's the payoff" but of course, in that payoff answer, you bring up just a bigger, another question, and we've never answered that, you know what I mean? So now, we don't really care. [pause] That's the whole thing: Who the fuck cares [Trey laughs] who Cartman's dad is? You know what I mean. It's like, that was what was so funny about the whole thing is, is we really thought, we thought that would be a funny cliffhanger, in that no one would care.
Taison: M-hm
Matt: You know, that it's like, "Oh, who spilt the milk?" or "Who shut the door?" or just something stupid. Um, because it's horrible we just say it.
Trey: But we just liked it, and we didn't realize how real Cartman was to people, 'cause he wasn't that real to us until… And now, I could even see it, you know. I'd buh, I'd be pissed off 'cause he is, you know, he is real to me now..
Matt: But to us, yeah, we're-
Trey: But, I mean, to me, his mother is his mother. Because… whatever- that's what 's funny about South Park is that… South Park is like a a a a a sitcom version of a Monty Python show, whereas the most fucked-up bizarre shit can happen, but every week it all just kinda resets.
Taison: Yeah.
Trey: And the perfect example of that being Kenny but, but really it's all that way. It's like the most bizarre but- right, the next week you're right back where you started, and, and uh, everything just resets and, and uh, that's, you know, that's just part of what South Park is to me.
Taison: If that- if it's like that, then- then they- do you think they'll ever age, really, then?
Trey: No. I mean, we're talkin' about, ne- next season they're gonna go- start going to fourth grade.
Taison: Oh, so they will age…
Trey: So they will age.
Matt: They won't look any different, really.
Trey: I mean, and, you know, there's a several ways to think about it.
Matt: We should have them- we should have them go to college, and they're totally old. Awesome.
Trey: But we've talked about um… You know, it's uh, it's been 55 episodes, so we're like, "well, is that 55 days? Is it 55 weeks?" You know, it's definitely like…
Matt: It's been like, four years.
Trey: …55 hours?
Matt: [laughs] Yeah.

Trey. Go look in the mirror.
Matt: Yeh. [Trey goes into fits of laughter] That's what, that's what you, that's what you look like to us. Everything started because Terrance and Phillip were characters first, and they weren't necessarily Canadian. And were later on we were like, "They're Canadian."
Trey: But the idea with Terrance and Phillip was, even worse animation than… South Park.
Matt: Yeh.
Trey: Because, t-Terrance and Phillip was our answer to- When the show first came out, and everyone was saying, "South Park is horrible animation, and is nothing but fart jokes." And we're like, "Nononono. Here's horrible animation and nothing but fart jokes," right? And that's what Terrance and Phillip was, it was our answer to that. And then it sort of grew and and, and, at that time we thought Terrance and Phillip were probably like, British or something, and then they just became Canadian out of necessity.
Matt: And some grief for the…
Trey: Yeah, and then we decided that all Canadians look like that, and that was sweet, because-
Matt: We, we loved the idea that… that, different characters in South Park don't… look any different. Race. Race doesn't matter.
Taison: M-hm.
Matt: Only nationality. So, like, a black… American… es- essentially looks the same as a white American, but just… different skin color.
Taison: M-hm.
Matt: But, um, but a black Canadian looks like a white Canadian, [Trey laughs] and uh he looks totally different.
Trey: Yeah.
Taison: Yeah. Okay.
Matt: And like, a Chinese-American looks like everybody else in South Park, with different skin tone. The Chinese Chinese… looks like, a different, a different thing.
Taison: Yeah.

Trey: Yeah, let's talk about this as brilliant cultural criticism.
Matt: Yeah.

Trey: I don't think you can read, um, you can do whatever you want, but I think we can't. I mean, uh er I, once we, I mean, and there's a couple of times where we've caught ourselves going, "You know what? We're getting too preachy," and like, you know, and, and I think that as soon as-, and actually pe-people gave us the advice, too, it's like, "You guys are making a social, great social commentary?" because you're not really thinking about it. And as soon as you do start thinking about it, it's usually "hey, let's try to say something about- you know what?" and I, I can say it, too. Almost every time that we've said, "Let's try to say this and let's try to do this," the show has not been that good.
Taison: Yeah, yeah, and fuck it up.
Matt: Because, it's more the point comes out of the story organically, out of the story we're trying to tell..
Trey: And as soon as you try to make a point, ih it's like, you just see a 20-minute thing where it's like, "Okay, I get it," you know, and, and like, we focus on that and not on the jokes and not on what's the pure thing about it. So we've learned to really… let that come out of a natural place and not try to-.
Taison: So you never really like, start off, "Okay, we're gonna try and say this."
Trey: We have, and I'm saying, we've done it a couple of times, and then, those shows weren't very good.
Matt: And then, yeah, but then like, on the other hand- yeah, that that, that's true. Then like, when the South Park movie… came out it was like… so many critics were like, "Surprise, like the South Park movie has a point." and we were like…
Trey: Almost every show has one.
Matt: Yeah. Yeah, it has a point, like, sometimes we don't mean to make it, or it's almost like an underhanded-.
Trey: But it's more like- it's not so much that, it's that, like, even with the South Park movie we were sort of halfway through making the film when we were like, "Wow," you know, "this movie really says this-"
Matt: Yeah.
Trey: "-and it really talks about this, and let's heighten that."
Matt: Right.
Trey: And that's great. That all works.
Matt: 'Cause it comes out of an actual-.
Trey: And a-, as soon as you try to start from a place of, "Let's say this," rather than, "You know what would be funny would be if they did this," you know.
Taison: M-hm.
Matt: Let's say uh, let's say, uh, uh, you know, whatever is bad. Racism's bad. Let's make a big… instead of like, coming up with a fucked-up, funny situation, that has to do with everyone's- all sides emotionally of that issue, you know, instead of like, "we want this character to say this at the end; how do we get there." It's a shitty way to do-
Taison: Uh-huh.
Matt: -to do the show.

Trey: Yeah. We've never regretted it. Well, now that I think of it, I don't think we've ever…
Matt: Well, we're all cut up he-, we're all cut up about it. Look.
Trey: I mean, the only dee uh- obviously, the only thing I remember being like… where we questioned ourselves — and we only did for a while, and then we're like "ah fuck it, that was sweet," — was when we did…
Matt: The cliffhanger-
Trey: …the cliffhanger in "Terrance and Phillip."
Taison: Oh, so you just show-?
Trey: Yeah. We questioned ourselves-
Matt: We worried totally like, half an hour.
Trey: We really thought everyone would think this was funny. Aannd we were wrong. And, and it was sorta the…
Matt: In about an hour-
Trey: It was more of an- it was more of an Andy Kaufman thing, you know, it was just like doing s- you know, he so thought that people would so get… the joke.
Taison: M-hm.
Trey: Annd they didn't. And it really bummed him out, you know. [laughs] He was like-
Matt: The audience doesn't like having a joke made on them.
Trey: Yeah. You know what I mean?
Matt: And there like, there's a bril-, like, there's a Hitchcock quote on that. It's like… doesn't mean he get-, ''course he fucked with people all the time, but he always answered it in a way where you're like, "Okay. Like, you fucked with me for a reason." And that's why that movie, what's that movie, Very- Very Bad Things? Wiat, not Very Bad Things, uh… The one with the two chicks in it, and they get… uh fuck, Denise Richards is in it, in that.
Taison: Oh, The… Wild… Things?
Matt: Wild Things. Did you see that movie?
Taison: Parts of it.
Matt: Did you see that movie? It's fuckin' terrible, 'cause it is that the whole time. Where every time something happens, it's like, "Oh, wait, the cops didn't do that right," and then you're like, "Oh, okay, you kinda fooled me there," and it's like, "No, but wait, they erred with this," and it's that, like eighteen times in a row, and by the end you're like, you know, "you just can't do that to me anymore," you know?

Trey: Yup. [laughs, then in falsetto] Well, they know of course-.
Matt: that's just like, that's just like, [in falsetto] "Well, in answer to your question, we are working with Shockwave, dududundun. Actually, no, not yet"
Trey: [as Matt talks] Yeah. Anyway-. Um. Um. [Matt laughs] Yeah, they are, and uh, but it's not, nothing to be feared, 'cause, the stuff- actually we're really stoked on it, what we're doin'. It's probably not gonna be out for a couple of more months. Um, and uh, Shockwave, they were s-, they were starting to have second thoughts about it. But… it doesn't matter, 'cause either way it's gonna get out, so.
Taison: M'kay.
Trey: And you know what, like, we haven't been fuckin' through that before.
Taison: Yeah.
Trey: It's like, I feel, you know, look what I'm doing-
Matt: I think we pissed off- I I hope they read this, but… if they think thahat we're fuckin'… Our experience just makes, I mean, when we file the content with Comedy Central, with Sony, with Paramount, with MPAA, with- and it's like, Shockwave isn't gonna do anything to us. You know what I mean?
Taison: M-hm.
Matt: So, they might as well be smart and deal with it or not, so.
Taison: M'kay.
Matt: [as he laughs] They're gonna get fucked.

Trey: I don't know.
Matt: YOU, Jonathan!
Trey: That's what everyone wants to know.
Matt: Well we want YOU to be in our new series, buddih!
Trey: That's what everyone wants to know. We're not telling anyone about the new show, except that uh…
Matt: "We'd like to know about it, too."
Trey: It's something that um, we came up with about a year ago.
Matt: "Well, I guess we'll let you know." [chatter] "Yeah, 'cause you're that cool."
Trey: But we, we so loved the idea that we suddenly got really excited and went all around the county. Pitched it- Actually everyone we pitched it to really liked it, too, and… um, and then they just finally decided that… You know what, like, we re-realized how lucky we were to be at Comedy Central and have that kind of creative freedom. 'Cause we were like-. And we had lots of friends saying, "You guys, don't go network. You know, you will- you will not survive network." [laughs] You know, it's kinda like, "Don't go to Cambodia; a- you just won't, won't survive," and so it was like, "Okay, fuck it."

Trey: Very attentive.

Trey: [laughs] Yes.

Trey: Wow, that is so out of- How'd it-? They couldn't sponsor us for shit.
Matt: Bra- Braniff- Braniff's out of business, been out of business for a- for a long time.
Trey: It was really a, you know what? It originally came from, in the, in the pilot episode, we- Comedy Central was like "Okay, you know, we've got our Comedy Central logo, now you guys should have your company's logo," but, we don't have a fuckin' company logo, and we didn't have the money to make one or anything, so like, I- "Remember that old fuckin' airline, Braniff?" like it's some-
Matt: No, we're like, "Is it not really sweet to have…" You know-okay, 'cause we-… It came from like, uh also the thought- I remember, thinking about it, in terms of a movie, where you're sitting there. It's like, Paramount Pictures and Braniff Airlines
Trey: Yeah. And.
Taison; Yeah.
Matt: And how fucked up that would be, you know? And it's like… And then we just decided to make it Braniff, so we went and stole the commercial,-
Trey: And then and then uh yeah, we got some stock footage of a Braniff commercial and-
Matt: And it's so illegal. It's-.
Trey: It's so illegal.
Matt: It's not, I mean, it's like, uh you can't fuckin' do that! [bursts out laughing]
Taison: But you can't get over it…
Matt: [excited] And you even showed them some freakin'-
Taison: Ever thought-?
Trey: It's the first episode, I'll go over to Smith, like, "You guys gonna change the program?" "We're gonna change it. We're doin' it next show."
Matt: Nonono, they did call. Braniff-
Taison: Yeah, did they ever talk to you guys?
Matt: -lawyers contacted over and basically said, "Look, you know this is illegal." Our lawyers are, "Yeah, aw fuck, we didn't know about it. We were wrong." And, and Braniff was like, "Well, if it never does an- if you never do anything more with it, if it's just at the end of every show,"
Taison: Uh huh.
Matt: "We won't do anything, but don't ever try to… actually say you're Braniff Airlines. Don't ever put it on movies. Don't- if it, if this is the only place it ever lives is this one little joke [Trey laughs] then that's fine." So we already had-
Taison: So they're cool with it, then?
Matt: They're not- Braniff is cool with it?
Taison: Yeah. With the way it is right now.
Trey: Kind of like cool-
Matt: They, they kind of just said-
Taison: They don't care.
Matt: "Fine, we won't sue you for that."
Trey: I think it's because yeah, they've they've weighed how, if they're gonna spend the money to prove damages on that. You know, and then, how much damage it's done to them.
Matt: But it is so evil. It's not cool.
Trey: It's really not cool, and we kept saying every season we're gonna change it. We're gonna change it.
Matt: And now it's kind of… is.
Trey: Yeah, it's kind of like, what it is.
Matt: We could just keep it and put on something else after it. [murmurs] 'Cause we always wanted that. We always wanted, correctly-… Braniff Airlines…
Trey: Which I'd actually buy the rights, but someone cared a lot.
Matt: Yeah. Well, 'cause it's a family. You know, the Braniff family, and so like the last name is Braniff, so you can't really buy it.
Taison: Oh. Okay.
Matt: [muses] Heh. We're trying to buy it.
Trey: "Yeah, but $2000 is fine. We're gonna buy Braniff back."
Matt: And then I look back, and like, "We were gonna stock footage like, old movies in airports." And Braniff was like, United Airlines, you know, fuckin' huge thing, and I don't know why it went bankrupt, but, we have no right to try to buy that.

Trey: Yeah, we've sort of just realized that yesterday, and we feel really bad, so we're gonna stop that.
Matt: Damn! We took the risk. [someone bursts out laughing]
Trey: Yeah. [laughs] At least-.
Matt: No. I mean, there, there, you don't really, you don't, you can't… take it about what people are gonna think.
Taison: M-hm.
Matt: Except for we do take it about, like, if I was watching the show, and you got, you know what I mean? You, you can come up and report, like, st- story, we do think about that, like, well… um-
Trey: Let's see if people are gonna understand this leap of logic? Are people gonna-?
Matt: Right.
Trey: -feel sorry for this person that we want them to feel sorry for?
Taison: M-hm.
Trey: But never, like,
Matt: are we-?
Trey: Who is this person gonna piss off?
Matt: Yeah.
Trey: 'Cause there's an answer to that for everybody.
Matt: Yeah, and who cares?

Matt: It was greater than… [Trey murmurs] It's probably the-
Trey: Why, it's sort of Matt and I got along was because when we first met was we were both huge Python fans. And still, to this day, they're our… seminal… favorite thing.
Matt: …involved in…
Trey: They're our… they're our… they're our… God. In a temple.
Matt: They're… definitely.

Trey: As a matter of face, yeah.
Matt: This week. This week. Tune in. [rethinks his answer] Instead of, on Wednesday
Taison: The one- coming up?
Trey: Yeah.
Matt: On Wednesday you're gonna see that.
Taison: You mean both of them or…?
Matt: Uh huh.
Trey: Yeah.

Matt: [in falsetto] Well, the word is that Beef-Cake's it. [someone giggles] No, um. Yeah, we do. About once a month. We visit Beef-Cake. Sometimes, we'd rather be crude and see what…
Trey: It's just like with Timmy you know, you go around and you're like, "You know what, people like, really like Timmy." You know, just kinda like
Taison: M-hm.
Trey: You do it for that, you know, you do it. You're like, "Yeah, people are really taking this in." And yeah, I mean, we, we did, I mean… On the one hand, we were like, we were so taken aback by the whole Terrance and Phillip debacle that, for a while there, we were like, "You know, yeah. People are saying they just wanna have Kenny die and Chef sing in every episode, and that's what we gotta give them," and we're like, "No, fuck that," you know. That's, that's what a few people want, but that's not, what every town and that's-. And as soon as, also, as soon as we just started doing what a certain fan group said they wanted to see, then it wouldn't be our show anymore, as a matter of fact.
Matt: And it's that, and it's, yeah, the same people who were like, "I love the fact that it's different and not like everything else, but why the fuck didn't Chef sing this week?!" [Trey chuckles] Fuck, that's bullshit! "Fuck you," you know?
Taison: Uh, where do you guys usually get the feedback from, like, you know?
Trey: [general chatter] I get a lot from looking at fan sites, and looking at what people are talking about. Um, definitely. Or whatever.
Taison: Or is it, like somebody that comes out-
Matt: Like friends?
Taison: -and like, presents stuff, or some-?
Trey: Well, Comedy Central has a really good finger on it, too. They're usually able to call us and go, "You guys, must've been down the street."
Taison: M-hm
Trey: You know, or, "You guys, this is… good… or are back doin' this." You know, it's just, ever since Anal Probe.
Taison: M'kay
Trey: But again, we only listen to it sort of halfway.
Taison: Uh-huh.
Trey: 'Cause if we did, yep, we do what we wanted to.

Trey: She's not that special.
Matt: Yeah. I think this is like, we could just do ten jokes — that's a good setup for a joke. Because you're fifteen.
Trey: Because you're fifteen and she's not.
Matt: [very low] She's not fifteen. [Trey chuckles] That goes with batches of silicon, and that's why you see…
Trey: You think because… That's the thing, you know, when you're fifteen you still, you don't realize how packaged and sold these people are.
Taison: M-hm.
Trey: And you just think, when you see that air-brushed Britney on the cover of a magazine, or that perfrectly manicured Britney on a video, that that is who she is, and-. But the thing is, I've been drunk wakin' up next to Britney before, and let me tell you, she is not a pretty sight. [both of them laugh]
Matt: And they're all like that, man. I really think I could name… 5 or 6…
Trey: It is amazing.
Matt: Five or six of the stars that you think are the hottest girls, you know, and you-
Both: -see them up close,-
Matt: -shit, and you're like… not like they're, not like they're ugly ugly dogs, but you would not pick them out of a lneup.
Trey: You would never- like, I remember the first time I met Madonna. I was like, you know, "Ooo! She is so unattractive." And it was just because she was being, she was at a dinner party, and she was just like, being her normal, like, wasn't really made up or anything.
Taison: M-hm.
Trey: And she looked fuckin' old and ugly.
Matt: I saw Christine, I just saw Christina Aguilera comin' out of a hotel.
Trey: Yeah?
Matt: And it was like, "Ooo, poor devil."
Trey: Yeah- No, they'd really, it's amazing. I mean, you see these people and you hang out with them, and you're just like, "Wow, you are really made up and airbrushed in everything you do." Every magazine cover, every single one with a good-looking girl on it, is airbrushed as shit.
Matt: Yeah.
Trey: We did the one with the Details, with Denise Richards on it?
Taison: M-hm.
Trey: And we got the comps before, you know…
Matt: We got the original photographs-
Taison: Before they did stuff?
Matt: -before they did the artwork, with the film and everything going around — remember that one?.It was the-
Trey: The film went around her body and-.
Taison: Yeah yeah!
Matt: And you open it up and the South Park kids are inside?
Taison: Yeah yeah, uh huh.
Matt: We got the original before it was touched up.
Taison: M-hm.
Matt: And Denise Richards is beautiful — I'm not sayin', but you know — she is, but you, but she's also a woman and isn't made of skin and bones, and so they have, like, where the film went around… It was like there was this one roll of fat, and all this stuff. Oh yeah, uh she's hot! It was so like, she was hot, but she looked normal hot, like a normal chick without any clothes on, and her imperfections and mole, and little mouth wrinkles an-. And… what, I mean, the thing on the stand is like… they had just made that, not just a little touch-up or removing a, a mole or a zit. They erased [Trey laughs] an entire fold of fat. You know what I mean?
Taison: M-hm.
Trey: So, just tell them that she's not fuckin' hot. She's not. Britney Spears is not a hot… [very soft] I'm psyched I did not bang that chick a few times. [louder] I'd tell her she's an ugly figure, but…
Matt: She's a shit. She's a [Trey laughs]
Trey: She's a shit, all right.
Matt: After she's married…
Trey: And she keeps coming back. [laughs, then silence]" Britney. You know you're not su-uh, I told you not to call me anymore." [Britney falsetto] "I know, but…"
Taison: Yeah. That's all the questions.
Trey: Cool.
Matt: Cool.
Trey: Dang, it's all ready now.
Matt: Sorry it, sorry it took so long.
Taison: Aw, that's alright.