The Secrets of
'Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride'

by Wild Willie Westwood, with sources from all over the Web

pi r2 = 2 pi r
4(N - x)2 = pi r2
3/5z(53a(6xy - 8z) +
74b(3x + ...)... 3a)
What do third graders (well, maybe Kyle and Wendy) know about algebraic terms like pi and powers?

The first equation has the answer r = 2

Substituting for r, the second equation has the answer x = N - ħsqrt(pi)

The third equation is just a collection of terms.

Um, when the kids come off the bus, where's Mrs. Crabtree?

Sparky being gay comes from a gay dog Isaac Hayes (Chef) and his friends used to tease when they were teenagers. Sparky running away and Stan looking for him comes from Trey's childhood.

The Sport Book $

  1. The Sports Book (a legal sports betting house) looks small on the inside, but is immense on the inside!
  2. Mr. Garrison pops up behind Jimbo as the crowd assembles to place bets.
I just act that way to get chicks, dumbass - could be from
  1. the "Bloodhound Gang" song, "I wish I were gay so I could get chicks"
  2. My Best Friend's Wedding:
    "George likes to... pretend that he's... uh, gay."
    "I see, and, uh, why would you do that?"
    "I...I find it attracts women."
The Football Game
  1. The spread has gone from 70 to 72.
  2. Kenny was wearing #13 (bad luck) but Frank called him by #23 (the number of the Illuminati)
  3. Stan wore #4, Kyle wore #12, and Cartman wore #68 - whose birthday? Another player wore #29 (97 - 68). Neither Trey nor Matt. Matt is 26, Trey is 28. Also, Kyle's shirt alternates between #12 and #14.
  4. Pip wears #00, while some Middle Park kids have negative numbers such as #-1 and #-3
  5. Frank Hammond sounds rather like Marv Albert, no?
  6. Sometimes there are mountains behind the bleachers, sometimes there's nothing but blue sky.
Frank Hammond's StatementReference
I haven't seen a beating like that since Rodney King!In March 3, 1991, bystanders watched as several Los Angeles police officers severely beat Rodney King. When the same officers were acquitted on April 29, 1992, Los Angeles erupted into riots.
I haven't seen an Englishman take a blow like that since Hugh Grant!Hugh Grant was arrested for soliciting a prostitute - this was both a major blow to his career and a major blow to (ahem).
And these South Park Cows are being absolutely molested by Middle Park. I haven't seen so many children molested since……Michael Jackson. People who have seen the episode outside the U.S. have reported that this is what Hammond says next.
I haven't seen a Jew run like that since Poland, 1938!Nazi Germany invaded the then-predominately Jewish Poland in 1939, marking the official start of World War II.
The Big Gay Boat Ride - in which Stan comes to understand homosexuality
  1. Big Gay Al's Big Gay Animal Sanctuary comes in like a land yacht and looks like a castle - Sleeping Beauty's Castle. With the lights, the music, and the techno dance floor, this sanctuary is a tribute to Disneyland, which has recently admitted gay couples into its dance club. The Boat Ride is a mixture of Disney's Jungle Cruise and It's A Small World rides.
  2. Big Gay Al's right nipple is pierced
  3. In "Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride" he says to Stan, "Would you like some Toasted Cheese Sandwiches?" this is an homage to Alfred Hitchcock...in one of the Psycho movies (#2 I think), when Norman Bates has Jennifer Tilly in the house, he offers her a toasted cheese sandwich. Isn't that an awesome Hallowein observation?!? I thought so.
  4. When the boat passes by the priest, Nazi, and Republican beatng on the gay man, the gay man has "RELAX" on his shirt. This is the title of a song by Frankie Goes to Hollywood (a gay band) in the mid 1980's.
  5. Brian Boitano (of SOXMAS fame) makes a guest appearance
  6. The Village People appear? I don't see where. The Village People had four or five of the following: an Indian, a cowboy, a biker, a police officer, a construction worker, a sailor
  7. When Stan and Sparky are leaving Big Gay Al's, Al says "When you get back to town, tell them about us, will you? Tell them there are gay animals here who need homes, desperately.", and Stan says that he will. This is the same thing the Winged Lion says about the Misfit Toys to Rudolph and the Dentist Elf, in Rankin-Bass' Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer stop-motion Christmas special, before they leave the Island and return to Santa.
It looks like now my work here's done
  1. the last words of a person who has completed a mission and is satisfied with the results, and so can move on.
  2. This bears a STRIKING resemblance to the ending of UHF where the crazy station engineer leaves for his home planet at the end of the movie says, "It looks like my work here is done"
Al disappearing into his suitcase and the suitcase rising and disappearing:
  1. Mary Poppins? No. She depended on her umbrella more than on her tote bag to get her from place to place.
  2. (hotel chain) commercial with people popping out of a suitcase? Possible, but just in passing.
  3. Felix the Cat's Bag of Tricks? Most likely, as the bag can turn into just about anything. Under this possibility, the Big Gay Animal Sanctuary is just the suitcase transformed. Also, the sanctuary was missing when Stan returned with the crowd, and then all the missing animals were back. But from where?

"Loving You" was a number one hit for Minnie Ripperton in 1975. She was also the writer (or co-writer) of the song. It was sung again (albeit poorly) by John Stamos' older brother Richard. John Stamos was Uncle Jesse on the television show Full House.