The Guest Stars of
"Tonsil Trouble"
by Wild Willie Westwood
Dentist, Doctor
The dentist works at Hell's Pass Hospital, but he does home visits as well. He comes by Cartman's house to check out his tonsils and tells him they have to come out. Liane takes him to the hospital to have them taken out, but learns something else: Cartman now has HIV because of some infected blood the dentist injected into him. The doctor shows up when he alerts the principal about the presence of an HIV victim at school, and goes on to explain that Cartman has AIDS, but that the other boys can't get it from him. They can treat Cartman as they usually do.
M.C., Waitress, Jimmy Buffett
The M.C. announces the things done so far to find a cure for Cartman's HIV both times. The first time, it's just Cartman and his mom at one table, Jimmy and Butters at another. The second time, all of South Park is there. The first time, the announcer says that Elton John was called away to a cancer benefit, so someone else fills in for him. The waitress mentions who it is: Jmmy Buffett. Buffett sings two songs the first time, and a variation on the first song the second time.
Airline Clerk, Flight Attendant
The clerk listens to the boys' story and tells them he has good deals for cancer patients, but none for AIDS patients. Cartman leaves for another airline. When the boys are in their seats on a plane, a flight attendant asks them what kind of cancer they have, and Cartman tells her all-over cancer, but that it's not as bad as AIDS. The attendant tells him she'd rather have cancer, but Cartman throws a fit and sends her away.
Anchorman, Driver in Nigeria
The anchorman announces the AIDS cure on TV, and a white driver in Nigeria drives from town to town hopping out, announcing the news, and hopping back in.
Magic Johnson, Magic's Butler
Kyle and Cartman visit Magic Johnson to find out the secret of his beating AIDS. Magic's butler alerts Magic to their presence and ask him to speak to the boys. He gives them a tour of his mansion and tells them he exercises and eats healthy foods, but he doesn't know what exactly is keeping his T-cell count high. They ask to see where he sleeps, which he does, but he says it's just a regular bedroom. Kyle notices something different, and Magic realizes Kyle means the money. Magic tells the boys that he doesn't trust banks, so he sleeps with his money. Suddenly he wonders if it's the presence of money that's keeping him healthy.
Scientist 1, Scientist 2, Scientist 3, Scientist 4, Mitch
The first scientist analyzes Magic's blood and sees the HIV attacking white blood cells. He asks Mitch to have a look, and then waves a brick of bills near the blood sample to show what happens when money is brought near the HIV. Mitch reports that the HIV is receding. Scientist 2 walks in and objects that the cash is merely destabilizing the HIV, not destroying it. Kyle and Mitch surmise that if enough cash is injected into the bloodstream, the HIV could be killed off entirely. Scientist 2 thinks about it and then agrees. Kyle is injected with the cash, and the cash particles replace the HIV particles. Once the injection proves successful, Scientist 1 announces it to the rest of the AIDS research center. Scientist 3 asks what the cure is, and Scientist 4 rejoices.