The Guest Stars of
"Britney’s New Look"
by Wild Willie Westwood
There are a lot of characters who have cameras but only have one line: I didn't include them here.
Britney and the VMAs
Britney, Denver Doctor, Manager, Sound Engineer, Britney's Aides
Security Guard, VJ, Man at the VMAs, Woman at the VMAs
Britney Spears tries to get away from it all, and ends up in South Park. Unfortunately, the paparazzi follow her and take pictures of her setting up camp in the woods nearby, going so far as to film a close-up of her peeing on a ladybug. Her look changes radically when Stan and Kyle get to see her after convincing the security guard that they're her sons - when she sees she's been duped, she shoots her face off. The guard comes up to check on her after Cartman and Butters run out, and ends up speechless. Britney survives the suicide attempt and ends up at Denver Medical Center. Her attending doctor dotes on Britney and closes the curtain after paparazzi begin to gather at the window to take pictures. Her manager finds her there and arranges for a side-door exit after a reporter for Star Weekly breaks through the window to continue taking pictures. The escape almost succeeds, but the paparazzi swarm the car and stall the escape for a few moments. The manager takes Britney to the recording studio so she can put out some songs and get back in the saddle. The female aide says she's a trainwreck; the male aide thinks she's stoned again. The sound engineer says Britney is fat and dumb. Stan tries to point out why she'd dumb, but the engineer isn't listening.Britney makes an appearance at the VMAs. The VJ introduces her and Britney comes out to dance clumsily. The man and woman at the VMAs critique her singing and appearance.
The Media
Ron, Robert Pooner, Tracy, Leslie
Tom, Chris, VMA Reporter, ET Reporter
Ron and Tracy are the two anchors on FOX News who cover Britney Spears in a segment dedicated to her: "Britney Watch!" Robert Pooner and Leslie are the two field reporters for the same segment. They focus on various parts of her body or on her bodily functions while just touching on the deeper meanings of her actions. Tom, Chris and the VMA reporter comprise a second team of reporters who takes over for Ron and his crew from time to time. Chris mentions the boob job scar while the VMA reporter covers Britney's performance and its aftermath. After the fruitful harvest, an ET report focuses on Miley Cyrus' rise to stardom. Shoppers at South Park Market see the report and start chanting. The reporter just smiles at the camera..
Moderator, Barack Obama, Train Clerk, Train Conductor, Male passenger
Bob Summers, Gil and Bill
FOX is hosting a Democratic presidential debate when breaking news about Britney Spears comes on just as Barack Obama starts to speak about military spending. The debate returns just as Hillary Clinton makes a racial statement. Stan and Kyle purchase tickets to the North Pole so that Britney can get even further away from the paparazzo. but the train doesn't make it there. The conductor recognizes Britney in the passenger car and asks someone on the phone what he should do next. Bob Summers is a mayor of a small town where the manager takes Kyle and the VMA reporter. Here, Kyle learns what the real plan is for Britney. Once the train conductor gets the order, he stops the train in some fields near a farmhouse. The passenger why the train is stopped in the middle of nowhere. The paparazzi again find Britney, and Stan takes her outside and runs through the fields with her. Gil and Bill are two farmers who sell corn at the Farmer's Market in the small town Britney finally died in. Gil compliments Bill on his corn.