Episode 1309 - Butters' Bottom Bitch

Cast:

Stan
Kyle
Cartman
Kenny
Butters
Clyde
Craig
Jimmy
Bebe
Wendy
Token
Scott
Fourth Grader
Groundskeeper
Mr. Garrison
Steven Stotch
Chief Yates
Officer

New Kids
Sally Darson
Ashley
Megan

Pimps, Bitches, and Johns
Bishop (Keshawn)
Pimp 2
Charise
Driver 2
Driver
Frat Boys
Black Bitch
White Bitch

ACORN
Receptionist (Mrs. Davis)
Boss (Mr. Daniels)


[South Park Elementary, day, recess.]
Cartman:Alright cool, guys, gather all around. Everyone should be a witness to this. [Cartman and Craig are at a tetherball pole, and Cartman is holding the ball. Around them are a bunch of boys, most of them from the fourth grade] Alright, you ready? Now say "I'm a dork, and I deserve what's coming to me." Come on, dude, "I'm a dork, and I deserve what's coming to me." [the camera pulls back a bit, and Butters is seen at the top of the tetherball pole, hanging from his briefs.]
Butters:I'm a dork, and I deserve what's coming to me. [Cartman hits the ball and it wraps around the pole, finally hitting Butters on his right temple] Ow.
Cartman:Alright, yoru turn Craig.
Butters:Fellas, my underwear is so far up my buttcrack my legs are numb! [at this point Craig grabs the ball]
Cartman:Well that's what you get for being a douchebag again Butters! You gotta take your medicine.
Butters:Uyeah, I guess I deserve it.
Stan:Hey heeey, what the hell are you guys picking on Butters for this time?!
Cartman:Aw dude, you guys are not gonna believe this. You know what we just found out? Well ti turns out that Butters, our Butters, has never kissed a girl [Craig hits the ball and it wraps around the pole until it hits Butters on the face]
Butters:Uugh!
Kyle:So what?
Butters:So what?? [the ball returns and Craig catches it] So I'm almost nine years old and anyone who hasn't kissed a girl by fourth grade is a dork!
Craig:That's right. [steps back and hits the ball again. The ball wraps around the pole and hits Butters on the face again. Cartman and Craig laugh]
Clyde:You guys, we got it! [walks up with Token] We got it. Sally Darson is selling kisses for five dollars.
Butters:Sellin' kisses?
Clyde:She hangs out behind the temp building during afternoon recess. She'll kiss any boy that pays her.
Butters:You mean I'm... gonna kiss a girl... today?
[The boys' bathroom, moments later. Butters is now putting on a tie]
Clyde:[giving advice] So then when she sticks her tongue out you just kind of lick it with your tongue.
Butters:Oh boy, I sure am nervous.
Cartman:Nothin' to be nervous about, Butters. You're finally going to become a man today.
Kyle:Butters, I think you should reconsider this.
Butters:Uh how come?
Kyle:Dude, you don't want your first kiss to be something you paid for. It's supposed to be special.
Cartman:Oh God, why don't you sit under a rainbow and write a poem, Kyle?
Butters:I gotta do this! I gotta know what it feels like!
[Back in the playground, moments later. Butters is walking to the temp building with a crowd of boys following him at a short distance]
Butters:Oh boy... Oh jeez, oh, stay calm Butters... Eh, how was it?
Fourth Grader:Pretty worth it. [walks away with a dreamy look in his eyes]
Jimmy:Go ahead, Bu-Butters. Go- go get some.
Butters:I'm going! [walks towards the back of the temp building] Ohh... [finds Sally and talks to her nervously] Oh, hi.
Sally:Hey. [punches something into her cell phone and puts it away in her back pocket]
Butters:So ummm yeah, ah, I was hopinnn maybe I could get a kiss.
Sally:Okay, cool.
Butters:Yeah, cool, uhhhm... umuh... okay. [puckers up and steps closer to Sally]
Sally:[first things first] So you got money?
Butters:Oh, money... Rrright. [reaches into his pocket and pulls out a five dollar bill, then hands it to her] There you go. A five dollar bill, all for you. [smiles, but that turns into surprise when she whips out her wad of bills and adds the five dollar bill to it. She puts the wad back away]
Sally:All right, you ready? [she turns to face him and puckers up. He looks at her and leans in, closing his eyes. She does not close hers. They kiss on the lips. They then separate and Butters isn't sure what to make of it]
Butters:Thank you! [turns right and walks back to the playground. As he approaches the boys, he raises his arms up and smiles]
Cartman:Atta boy Butters!
Craig:You did it!
Jimmy:You're a man now! All right Butters good job!
Token:Good job, Butters!
[Butters' room, night. He lies there awake, his hands behind his neck, pretty happy about the school day]
Butters:[thinking to himself] Boy oh boy. I finally did it. I'm a man now. [suddenly frowns, thinking of what being a man entails] Jeez, I'm gonna start havin' lots of responsibilities soon. I gotta start thinkin' about a career. There's gonna be family and bills to start worrying about. M-no more play time for you, Butters! You gotta buckle down and find, and find yourself a way to make money. [aloud, smiling] Hey, I know.
[Lunchtime at the school cafeteria. The kids are eating lunches, and Butters comes into view, stopping at a table of boys]
Butters:Hey fellers! Fellers, do you like gettin' kisses? 'Cause I know a girl that'll give you a great kiss for just five dollars!
Scott:Shy'll kiss anyebody?
Butters:Sure, Scott! Even if you got diabetes!
[Behind the temp building, moments later. Butters waits as Scott gives Sally his five dollars and kisses her]
Scott:Wow. [turns and walks away] It's almost like having someone care about you. [walks back towards the playground]
Sally:Jeez Butters, thanks for bringing me yet another customer. Here's your two dollar cut again.
Butters:[taking his cut] Boy oh boy, this sure is great! I've been thinkin', Sally: I could probably drum up some third grade customers if you could do kisses before school too. We could make double the money.
Sally:Oh, that'd be great, but I can't do kisses before school. I have swimming class.
Butters:Aww nuts! [walks off a bit] Well, I did have another idea. What if we got another girl to fill in for you sometimes?
Sally:What?
Butters:Well, you know, we bring someone on, show her what to do, and then share all our money together.
Sally:[walks up to him] Wow, you're right Butters. I should start expanding.
Butters:We could have our very own... [puts out his hands and frames an imaginary plaque] kissin' company.
[Butters' bedroom, day. He's got three easels up with info and four girls seated before him. He's using a pointer to highlight the info on the easels. He's laying out his business plan to the girls, who all have notebooks and pencils]
Butters:The next key to a successful business is "innovation." I think maybe we need to understand that some boys simply can't afford the five dollars for a kiss, so what if we start also charging just two dollars for a hug?
Sally:Wow, that's a great idea, Butters.
Butters:Why thanks. Sally, I think your position behind the temp building at recess is perfect. Megan, I'm thinkin' about moving you to the baseball field after school during little league practice.
Megan:[a third grader, taking notes] Got it.
Butters:I got a kissing booth set up at the kids' fair on Saturday so Kayla and Ashley, you take turns there. Any girl that sells more than twenty kisses gets [puts up a smiling sun sticker on Sally's row on the work schedule] a little sunshine, but if you don't show up for work at all, I'm afraid you get a storny cloud.
Sally:This is gonna be great!
[Park County Police Station, day. Seems Detective Yates is now police captain there. Detective Murphey enters the work room with a report]
Murphey:Sir! Sir, take a look at this. We've got rumors coming in of a possible "prostitution company" starting up in South Park.
Yates:What?! [grabs the report and leafs through it] Hohoo, not in my county!
Murphey:We've got no information on the prostitutes, don't know who they are or where they came from.
Yates:[walks off a bit] So then we need to go after the johns. We need to let the men of this town know that if they paid for sex they're going to jail!
Murphey:Sting operation, sir?
Yates:[turns to face his men] We need an undercover cop disguised as a prostitute, so we can arrest any citizens looking for cheap thrills!
[A seedy side of town, night. Chief Yates is dressed as a hooker and is waiting curbside for a john. A car slowly rolls up, then stops. Yates approaches the car]
Yates:Hey baby, you looking for a party?
Driver:Ha... how much are you charging?
Yates:Twenty for oral, fifty for half and half, anal will cost you extra.
Driver:Aww- get in. [Yates gets in and the car takes off]
[An alley, night. The car rolls into it]
Yates:Right here's good, sexy. [the driver stops the car] Now if you wouldn't mind handing over the twenty dollars for oral sex.
Driver:Ok-okay. [grabs his wallet, pulls out a twenty, and hands it to Yates]
Yates:All right, buddy!... Go ahead and unbutton your pants. [the driver unzips his pants] All right! Here we go. [leans down unto the driver's genitals and starting giving him head]
Driver:Aw... Aw yeah. Oh man oh... Ohh! Aw-aw-AWWW-aw. AW-aw. Oh, s-sorry I was so quick.
Yates:Oh that's all right. [leans down to get something] Nothing wrong with a-FREEZE! [whips out his gun and badge, aiming the gun at the driver] You're busted, buddy! I'm a cop!
Driver:Awhuh! What?!
Yates:This is a sting operation, scumbag, and you're going to jail for soliciting prostitution. [grabs his walkie-talkie and talks into it] Got our first one, boys. I'm bringing him in for booking.
[South Park Elementary, day, the hallway. Kids are moving from place to place. Kenny, Cartman and Stan walk by and Kyle stops them]
Kyle:Did you guys hear what's going on? There's like four girls at the school now offering to kiss boys for money.
Stan:Yeah, I heard that now even Stacey Anderson is selling kisses.
Kenny:(Stacey Anderson?) [mumbles something more, pulls out his five dollar bill and walks away. Butters walks up to them from the other direction]
Butters:Hey fellas. Would anyone like a coupon. We're offerin' two for one kisses today through Thursday.
Stan:Butters, you're the one doing all this?
Butters:Yep! I am founder and head CEO of the Butters Kissing Company. Just look at this. [pulls out his stack of bills and shows it off]
Cartman:Damn dude, you made all that money offa chicks?
Butters:I'm tellin' ya guys, this is the most genius idea I've ever come up with. A lot of boys would pay to kiss my employees.
Kyle:You didn't think of anything, Butters! Guys have been doing what you're doing for years! You're nothin' but a common pimp! [slams his locker door shut and walks off with theh other three boys]
Butters:...A pimp. Huh...
[At the newly-christened Butters Kissing Co, Ltd. in his bedroom. Butters and Sally are at his desk. Butters is researching what it is to be a pimp]
Butters:Bohy, Kyle was right, Sally. There's guys with kissing companies all over the country. "The person managing all the women is known as the 'pimp,' while the working women are referred to as 'ho' or 'bitch.'" Oh, you're a bitch, Sally. [smiles]
Sally:Oh. [smiles]
Butters:Hey, look at this!

There's about to be a big pimp convention, it looks like. I gotta get to that convention, Sally. I could learn all kinds of stuff for our company.
[The Players Ball, night. Pimps and bitches of all shapes and sizes arrive and enter. Inside, they mingle, drink, dance, and Butters walks into view in a shirt and tie, and a name badge. He's sipping something. He spots a grown pimp and two of his bitches]
Butters:[addressing the pimp] Hi there. My name is Butters. This sure is a nice convention, huh? Yeah, I'm just starting out. I really came last minute 'cause I'm hoping to learn more about being a successful pimp
Bishop:You? You be pimpin?
Butters:Yeah, just about a week now. I have four girls at the moment, but I feel like I could be doing a better job.
[The Players Ball, A table of pimp trophies to be handed out is shown, then the camera moves up to ]
Bishop:Now see, you think you're a pimp, but you can't be pimpin', know what I'm sayin'? You wanna be a pimp, then you gotta learn the game. See it's aaall about knowin' the game.
Butters:What's the game?
Bishop:The game is how you treat the bitches, know what I'm sayin'? Bitch gotta know when she out there, she makin' yo' muthafuckin' money, know what I'm sayin'? You got yo' main bitch, know what I'm sayin'? That be your "bottom botch." That bitch rank higha than aaall the other bitches but she still a bitch, know what I'm sayin'?
Butters:[taking notes] Yes I I know what you are saying. You don't have to keep asking.
Pimp 2:See it's all about mind control. You gotta act a punk. Any man can control a bitch's heart, but a pimp gotta control a bitch's miiind, know what I'm sayin'?
Butters:I know what you're saying.
Pimp 2:Pimp gotta be out there every motherfuckin' day keepin' his bitches in line. Can't let 'em go shoppin', spendin' their money on stupid shit. Bitches gotta think that's your motherfuckin money, know what I'm sayin'?
Butters:[getting pleased] Yeah! I believe I know what you are saying!
[Butters' home, day. Butters walks in the front door.]
Steven:There you are, Butters!
Butters:Hey Dad!
Steven:Butters, we heard a rumor that you might have a little girlfriend? [Linda doesn't look pleased] Sally Darson?
Butters:Aw hell Dad, I got lots of girlfriends. Sally's just my bottom bitch. [walks past his parents and up the stairs, but stops for a moment and looks at them.] You know what I am saying? [they're left speechless as he continues up the stairs]
[A dark alley in South Park, night. Chief Yates is dressed again as a bitch and is in the back seat of someone else's car]
Driver 2:I've got to tell you I... I don't do this kind of thing very often. You're sure you're not a cop, right?
Yates:No way! Let's jsut get to this, baby.
Driver 2:Alright.
[An unmarked police van is nearby, with some officers listening in...]
Yates:So, you are agreeing to have sex with me for one hundred dollars, correct?
Driver 2:Sure, I have the money right here.
Murphey:[to the other officer] Remember, he's going to give us the code word to move in. Wait for the code word, "stretch."
[A police cruiser, nearby. Two other cops are listening in as well...]
Officer:Code word is "stretch," copy?
[A rear shot of the john's car, which has tinted windows]
Yates:Oh yeah, yeah, get those pants down.
Driver 2:Oh, you feel good.
Yates:Oh, you're a nasty little fuck, aren't you? Yeah, let me see that hot penis of yours. Oh yeah, nice. Yeah, I'm ready when you are.
Driver 2:Oh yes. That's great. [the car begins to move up and down]
Yates:Yeah, you like it?
Driver 2:Oh, I love it!
Yates:Yeah, you're a diry fuck!
[The police van. The officers can't believe what they're hearing]
Yates:Yeah, come on! Harder! Deeper!
Driver 2:Oh yeah! [the van's driver looks back to see if Murphey and the other officer are as shocked as he is] Oh yeah!!
Yates:Yeah, teach me a lesson, daddy!
[The police cruiser, the two other cops are shocked too...]
Yates:Teach this little whore a lesson!
Driver 2:Yeah! Yeah!
Yates:Yeah, that's right!
Driver 2:Awww, awwwww, awwwwoh! [the john's car stops moving] Awh. [the john sounds out of breath] Oh, oh man! [a shot of the john and Yates putting their clothes back on] Thank you! That was great.
Yates:Yeah, you really worked it, Daddy. You really gave my little ho quite a... [leans into him] STRETCH.
[The police van. Murphey acts on the code word]
Murphey:Uhhh, that, that's it. Move in! [the police van and car arrive quickly and the officers jump out]
Driver 2:Oh God! It's the police!
Yates:[quickly whips out his badge and gun] Freeze! [takes the john out of the car and throws him against the hood] You are under arrest for soliciting prostitution! Book him, boys! [the other officers come in and cuff the john]
Driver 2:Please! Please don't do this! I have a wife and kids!
Yates:A wife and kids. And you're out here trollin' the streets for prostitutes. You make me sick! Take him downtown, boys. I'm goin' back on the street.
[The school playground, day. The groundskeeper comes into view]
Groundskeeper:[blows her whistle] That's it recess is over back to class.
Kids:[disappointed] Aaaaaaah.
Butters:Boy oh boy, really great work, bitches. You all sold lots of kisses today. Except for you, Megan, I'm afraid you get a stormy cloud sticker today.
Ashley:So wait, you're keeping all the money now?
Butters:I just hold on to all the money, 'cause bitches can't be trusted with it. We pool all the kissing money together, see? But if you wanna buy anything, you just talk to the bottom bitch [places his left hand on Sally's right shoulder], and then the bottom bitch talks to me. Alright, see you after school! [walks away] Do you know what I am saying?
[Fourth Grade classroom, day. Mr. Garrison is writing math problems involving fractions on the blackboard.]
Mr. Garrison:Alright children, I want you to copy down these math problems and solve them before recess.
Butters:[sees an opportunity...] Yo, Bebe. Bebe yo.
Bebe:[bothered] What?
Butters:Bitch you wanna make some motherfuckin' money?
Bebe:[really bothered] What?!
Butters:Bitch you should be doin' kisses on the playground. You can make fifty bucks a day! Buy all the purses and shoes that you've ever wanted. I'll treat you right, bitch.
Bebe:Shut up!
Butters:Oh, alright then. [copies some problems down, then looks at Wendy. Softly...] Hey Wendy. Wendy! [loudly] Bitch, don't you wanna start makin' some real fuckin' money?
Wendy:Leave me alone.
Butters:Why you were made for the playground, bitch. You should be out there workin'. Don't you want a new lunch box? Nice new coat? I can get all that for you, bitch.
Stan:Butters. Dude!
Butters:What?
Stan:You can't call my girlfriend a bitch!
Butters:Oh. Well all I'm sayin' the bitch should be out there workin' is all. [turns to Wendy] Whatcha doin' bitch? Just givin' kisses to Stan for free? Why you should be makin' some motherfuckin' money!
Wendy:Stan!
Stan:Butters, seriously, if you don't stop this I'll kick your ass!
Butters:[whips out a bill] Clyde, here's a hundred bucks. If Stan comes near me, punch him.
Clyde:Wow wee. [grabs the hundred]
Cartman:Dude, we've created a monster.
Butters:Come on Wendy, you should be puttin' that mouth to work.
Mr. Garrison:Butters! Butters, do you have a problem?!
Butters:All these bitches are kissin' fellers, and they haven't figured out that they can be making some serious fuckin' money!
[A shot at the temp buildings from the back of the main building. Butters escorts a new bitch to the area behind one of the buildings]
Butters:Really glad you joined the company, Annie! Now remember: you're chargin' five dollars for a kiss, two for a hug, and six for half and half. Alright bitch? Alright, how about a freebie? [she gives him a freebie] Ohwoah, [twirls around] whoopie! [walks away, leaving Annie at her new post. As he reenters the playground, Kyle meets him]
Kyle:Butters, I really think we should talk.
Butters:Sure, Kyle.
Kyle:Butters, can't you see this is wrong? You've got little boys all over school spending all their lunch money on kisses. Boys shouldn't be paying for kisses. It's wrong.
Butters:Kyle, every boy pays for kisses. Do you know what I am saying? If you've got a girl, and she kisses you, sooner or later you're paying for it. You've gotta take her out to lunch, take her to a movie, and then spend time listenin' to all her stupid problems. Look, look at Stan right there. [Kyle turns to see Stan, who's listening to Wendy over at the merry-go-round] Why he's gotta sit there and lsiten to her stupid motherfuckin' problems 'cause she kisses him. If you ask me, that's a lot more than the five dollars my company charges.
Kyle:Butters, what's happened to you?
Butters:What happened is that I became a man! I'm sorry I'm not your littel buddy anymore, but there's a time people have to grow up! [storms off, but turns once more to ask] Do you know what I am saying?! [turns and continues walking towards the main building]
[ATΩ frat house, night. There's a party going on in there.]
Frat Boy 1:[from the third floor balcony] Alpha Tau Omega, woo!
Frat Boy 2:[walks by on the street and looks up] ATOs!
Frat Boy 3:Alright, ATOs, our little Kevin is twenty one today! [the other frat boys cheer] And so, Kevin, we would like to welcome you to manhood. Our gift to you. [a huge three-tiered cake is wheeled in and the music changes as Chief Yates jumps out of the cake. He begins to dance around]
Frat Boys:Eewwww!
[ATΩ frat house, later that night. Only three windows on the second floor are lit now, and an orgy is heard.]
Yates:Give ot to me! Come on, you sissies, I can fit more of ya! [more moaning from the frats] Yeah, you like your little stripper whore?! You like her?! [the gun and badge aer heard] FREEZE! [silence. Only the crickets are heard. Some minutes later the police swarm the frat house] Take them all to the station, for oral AND anal sex with a prostitute! Half of them didn't even use a condom! [faces the frats] Don't you stupid kids know the diseases you can catch?! Hand me that evidence bag. [an officer hands him the bag, which he opens and places under his ass. He proceeds to crap into it, but when the bag is sealed, it's all white - it's all semen.]
Murphey:Sir, sssome of us are wwwondering if maybe y-you're not... taking this role a bit far?
Yates:What?! No way! Nothing is more important than keeping prostitution out of our community! [his cell phone rings] Oh, hold on, that's my daddy. [answers the phone] Hey Daddy.
Bishop:[at the other end of the line] Where you at, bitch? I need my bottom bitch right now.
Yates:Ye-yes, Daddy, I'm on my way.
Bishop:I made you my bottom bitch, now you gotta take care of yo' pimp, know what I'm sayin'?
Yates:Be right there. Sorry guys, my daddy needs me right now. [limps away, no doubt in pain from having so many men in his ass at one time]
[The streets in another Colorado city, night. Two prostitutes are working a corner with cigarettes in hand. The white one has a black left eye]
Black Bitch:Damn bitch! Yo' pimp beat yo' ass again?
White Bitch:He's an asshole.
Black Bitch:You know, I heard a rumor about some new pimp up in Park County. They say he's real respectful; Lots of girls switching over to him.
White Bitch:A pimp that respects his hos? Sign my ass up. [takes a drag from her cigarette]
[Butters Kissing Co, Ltd. Butters' stable of bitches has expanded to include some adult prostitutes]
Butters:And that's... three thousand dollars today for Charise. [looks up at her over his left shoulder]
Charise:Did I do good, Daddih?
Butters:REALLY great work, bitch! That is another... [looks for the right cell to place the sticker on and finds it] sunshine sticker for you.
Charise:Thank you, Daddih. [kissis him on his head]
Butters:[gets excited] Mmmwhoa boy!
[ACORN, the Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now, day. Butters is filing some paperwork with the receptionist there. His bitches stand near the entrance waiting for him to finish]
Butters:And so, I would like to see if there are any housing loan opportunities for some of my employees, and also what kind of corporate tax I should be filing under.
Receptionist:And exactly what kind of business are you running?
Butters:It's a kissing company.
Receptionist:And you're making a profit?
Butters:Oh sure! My black employee Charise over there, one time she made two thousand dollars, on one customer! Can you believe it? Two thousand dollars just to kiss a feller. She currently stays in a motel room, 'cause a lot of her customers see her late. [puts his hand over the right side of his mouth and whispers so Charise doesn't hear] You wouldn't believe the time of night some fellers wanna kiss.
Receptionist:[getting suspicious] Do you keep any record of the men getting these "kisses"?
Butters:'Course. My bottom bitch keeps a database of all our customers, specially the VIPs, like Senator Morris.
Receptionist:Senator Morris?
Butters:Sure! Senator Morris gets kisses every day at lunchtime. You know where he likes to get kissed?
Receptionist:Where?
Butters:In a motel room. Darnedest thing. He must get sleepy.
Receptionist:Alright, get out of here! [throws Butters' papers back at him]
Butters:Huh? Why?
Receptionist:I'm not falling for it!
Butters:But I heard ACORN helps pimps and their bitches!
Receptionist:[rises in anger] We aren't giving you anything; get out! [her boss walks up next to her]
Boss:Mrs. Davis, is there some kind of problem?
Receptionist:Eh no sir.
Butters:Heey! Mr. Daniels! You get kisses from my bitch Roxy in the alley down in Ziglar. [Mr. Daniels' jaw drops, and Mrs. Davis looks at him]
[Butters Kissing Co, Ltd., later. A couple more females have joined the company.]
Butters:Boy, how do you like that, bitches? Approval for twooo housing loans aaand tax-exempt status. File these away, Sally.
Sally:Okay
Charise:Ubup. Daddy, how come this ho get to be bottom bitch?
Sally:What?
Charise:I make the most money for you Daddy, that means if anyone should be bottom bitch, it's me.
Sally:[she and Charise face off] Hey, screw off, ho.
Charise:Fair is fair, ho.
Butters:[rushes in to keep the hos from fighting] Whoa whoa, bitches, bitches!
Yates:[voice only] Excuse me! [shown at the company entrance] Well well well, this must be the organization I've been hearing so much about. Took me a long time to find you. You won't believe the hardships I've been through trying to track you down. My name is Yolanda. I'd like to know all about yoru operation here. You see I just left my pimp recently and I'm looking for a new one?
Butters:Oh. Well we operate on a sixty-forty split here. Bitches have access to Medicare and now, low-income housing loans.
Yates:Well, I think that's about all I need to hear.
Bishop:[voice heard outside the window] Yolanda! [his car honks repeatedly] Yolanda!
Butters:What's that?
[Butters' front door, moments later. Everyone has gone downstairs to see who's calling Yolanda. Bishop is on one knee with a bouquet of flowers in his hands]
Bishop:[pleading] Yolanda please! You gotta come back to me! I got nothin' without you!
Yates:You've got a lot of nerve coming here, Keshawn! After the way you treated me? I need a pimp that doesn't beat me every time he gets drunk!
Bishop:[on his feet] Yolanda, I looove you. I need you. Not as my bottom bitch. I want... [back on one knee] I want to marry you. [opens a small box in which rests an engagement ring. Yates looks moved by this display of affection]
Yates:It's too late for that, Keshawn! I just told this pimp I was his bitch now.
Butters:Well wait, hold on now. Why I'd never get in the way of somebody being happy. Well us pimps gotta be good. Even to each other.
Bishop:[crying gratefully] Thanks, pimp. You done changed the game, that's what you did. [offers the ring once more] Marry me Yolanda? We'll move to a little château in Switzerland and get away from aaall this.
Yates:Oh Keshawn! [runs to him and they hug and kiss for a long time]
Butters:Wha? Awww.
Bishop:I love you so much.
Yates:Babe I love you too.
Bishop:So much, baby.
Yates:Let's uh let's just be happy okay?
Bishop:Promise, babe. Promise.
Butters:[moved to tears] Oh, oh. [feeling remorse] Oh jeez. [closes the front door softly]
[Butters' living room]
Butters:Gals. Gals, could you all come gather round? Gather round, gals; take a knee. [the girls come and genuflect] Gals I... well I'm afraid I can't do this anymore. I'm gonna be leavin' the company. Well I enjoyed being yoru pimp and all, it's just that... when I see real love, like what those two people have, well, well it just makes me feel like a... well, like a dick. Well I may be a man now, but it doesn't mean I have the right to be earnin' money for what girls do, whether you're chargin' fellers for kisses by cash or by makin' them listen to your stupid motherfuckin' problems. Well that's your hard work. Bitches, this is your company now, so get out there, and make yourselves some motherfuckin' money!
[The Swiss château. The camera zooms in from a great distance. Bishop and Yates are enjoying their new home]
Bishop:Happy anniversary baby. [slips a diamond necklace on Yates' neck] Do you like 'em?
Yates:I love 'em, darling.
Bishop:I wanted to get you something extra-special.
Yates:[reaches down to get something] Well hold on. I've got something for you too, my love. I just put it right over here by the... [whips out his gun and badge] FREEZE!! Ha! You're busted, buddy! I'm a COP!
[End of Butters' Bottom Bitch.]