The Secrets of
"Cartman's Mom's Still A Dirty Slut"

by Wild Willie Westwood, with sources from all over the Web

Come Sail Away

By Styx

Part I, Verse 1: I'm sailing away.
Set an open course for the virgin sea.
For I've got to be free.
Free to face the life that's ahead of me
On board I'm the captain, so climb aboard.
We'll search for tomorrow on every shore.
And I'll try, oh lord, I'll try to carry on
Part I, Verse 2: I look to the sea.
Reflections in the waves spark my memory
Some happy, some sad.
I think of childhood friends and the dreams we had
We lived happily forever, so the story goes,
But somehow we missed out on the pot of gold
But we'll try best that we can to carry on
Part II, Verse 1: A gathering of angels appeared above our heads
They sang to us this song of hope, and this is what they said
Part II, Chorus:
(four times) 		Come sail away
come sail away
come sail away with me, lads
Part II, Verse 2: I thought that they were angels, but to my surprise
We climbed about their starship and headed for the skies
America's Most Wanted does offer re-enactments, but not live. And the show aired just three days after Greenfield got to South Park with his crew. The speed in which the crew got there suggests that the Mayor herself called the show, as she did in Volcano.

Opening Recap

  1. Where did the Broncos go? They were not present in the recap before the show.
  2. Man, this feels like the longest minute of my life - considering that it's been eight weeks since the cliffhanger ended, Cartman is right.

Mrs. Cartman's Quest For Abortion Rights

  1. The receptionist at the Unplanned Parenthood Clinic has Sally Struther's body shape and face (as seen in Starvin' Marvin and Mecha Streisand).
  2. the fortieth trimester - there are four trimesters (trimester < tri, three + mester, month) per year, so the fortieth trimester makes the fetus 10 years old, or the boy 9 years, 3 months. This confirms, in a way, that Cartman's birthday is actually on February 4, as April 22 comes 11 weeks later, or almost the three months after the ninth birthday he celebrated during the "Boutin' at the Mountain" match between Jesus and Satan.
  3. Mrs. Cartman moves quickly. She's in bed with her congressman the day after visiting Unplanned Parenthood, with the governor two days after that, and with the President the following day. Where was Hillary?
  4. The governor is just coming off a heart surgery when he's in bed with Mrs. Cartman.

The Hospital

  1. Chef took a day to cover 35 miles. He left South Park with Mephesto and the kids at night, Mrs. Cartman visited Unplanned Parenthood the following day during the day, and Chef got to the hospital the following night.
  2. He's on full life-support and breathing fine. - A person on full life-support does not breathe fine.
  3. When does an appendectomy involve heart surgery?
  4. Parker and Stone like Jurassic Park. They make use of velociraptors and the backup generator here.
  5. On the hospital blueprints, South and East have switched places.
  6. Those cables looked thick enough to be insulated and long enough to be connected without a wire, so Kenny should have been able to connect them without being electrocuted.
  7. The rats had no time to take Kenny apart due to the fast rate of freezing common to warm bodies, so they froze with him.

Alive

  1. Cannibalism under extreme conditions was the subject of the movie Alive, which also featured Ave Maria. The version in this episode is sung by Aaron Neville.
  2. There were about 30 people present for rehearsal. After the lines go down and before cannibalism sets in, one can see the Mayor, Greenfield, his assitant, the soundman, the cameraman, Garrison, Barbrady, Ned, Jimbo, the Chef actor, Eric Roberts, and two audience members. Of these, Jimbo, Garrison, Ned, the Mayor, Barbrady, the soundman, and the cameraman make it out.

Finally...

  1. How could Mephesto have seen Not Without My Anus when he had yet to reveal Cartman's father? How could he have seen it a month ago when he only spent a week from being shot to finally revealing the father?
  2. The alien who appeared briefly in Mephesto's lab at the end of Cartman's Mom Is A Dirty Slut reappears at the end of this episode. He is more conspicuous now, appearing behind Ned at the hospital. The Broncos have been called back.
  3. Eric Cartman's father is…his mother. She's a hermaphrodite, and the fact is that hermaphrodites are sterile, as the sex organs are not fully developed either way.