The Guest Stars of
"Summer Sucks"
by Wild Willie Westwood
Charlie
He is the Dyno Might representative who offered a giant snake for the Fourth of July celebration in South Park. The Mayor asked him to prepare the biggest snake firework in the world, and he had it done. But he had no idea how long the snake would take to run out of fuel until the Mayor forced him to make calculations. He came up with 16 months from July of this year (1998), so November 1999. Fortunately, Jimbo came back from Mexico with big Tijuana bottle rockets that ended up destroying the snake.
Shari Lewis and Lamb Chop
Shari and Lamb Chop appear here as part of the PBS lineup. Lamb Chop reminds Mr. Garrison of Mr. Hat, so Garrison daydreams about getting rid of Lamb Chop. In the daydream he goes to Shari's studio, chops the sock off Shari's hand, and tosses it onto a barbecue grill he had previously prepared and lit. Lamb Chop is burned up as he calls for Big Bird.
Creamy Goodness
Truly, a normal-looking reporter with a funny name. He was there to cover South Park's celebration of the Fourth of July from joyful beginning to disastrous end. A crowd of people gathered round him on Independence Day (waving, jockeying for position…) so they could say they were on TV, and they stayed with him until the sun went down.
Stu, local fireworks seller
Stu sells fireworks, or at least he did until Colorado passed a law banning the sale of fireworks. Now he just sells snakes. The boys go to him hoping to buy some M-80's, but he doesn't have any to sell. He tells the boys why, and shows them the headline that prompted the new law. The boys walk away disappointed.
Orchestra Conductor and Swimming Instructor
The kids are to play some classical music for the 4th of July festivities in South Park. Their conductor has them practice, and he asks where Eric Cartman is. Cartman plays the French horn. The other boys tell the conductor that Cartman is taking swimming lessons, which he is. The swimming instructor is patient with Cartman, but faces the occasional yellow pool from the first graders.
Brett Favre and Dr. Jonathan Katz
Mr. Hat has run away from Mr. Garrison. Mr. Garrison goes to New York to visit Dr. Katz so he can come to terms with Mr. Hat's disappearance. Garrison reveals that Mr. Hat fantasizes about being with Brett Favre and a bottle of 1000 Island salad dressing. Indeed, Brett Favre goes into a Green Bay Packers steam room to relax when he notices Mr. Hat sitting nearby.