The Guest Stars of
"Rainforest Schmainforest"
by Wild Willie Westwood
Jake, Getting Gay With Kids Choir leader and student spokesman
He seems to know a lot about the rainforest and its destruction by loggers. He constantly rattles off the number of acres destroyed each day and each year. He is the male choir leader, and he gets a solo in the songs they sing. While the choir was trying to find its way back to San José, Jake stops to admire a huge yellow flower. He is warned not to touch it, but the plant is quicker, scooping him up and suffocating him in order to digest him later. Miss Stevens tries her best to free Jake, but it looks as if she failed. He is not seen again.
Kelly, Getting Gay With Kids Choir student spokeswoman
She is the other choir lead, and Kenny's first girlfriend. She picks her nose, but Kenny doesn't say anything about it. She and Kenny spend their time getting to know each other while on a Save the Rain Forest tour, and he comes to her aid several times. She has mixed feelings about falling in love, stuck between wanting to know Kenny ("Benny? Lenny? Larry? Johnny?") better and being sure they will never again see each other after the tour ends. Kenny is her shield when bullets come her way. When Kenny is struck by lightning, she is knocked away, but comes back to resuscitate him.
Miss Stevens, GGWK Choir Teacher
Voice: Jennifer Aniston
She is the Getting Gay With Kids choir teacher. She gathers up kids from around the nation and takes them to Central and South American countries on crusades to defend the rainforest. In this episodes, she encounters first-hand the dangers of the rainforest. She calls Pablo Pedro. She and Cartman enter a battle of wills, and Cartman wins, walking back into the forest to find hiw own way back to San José. After encountering the Yanogapa and their giant, her views on the rainforest change completely.
Costa Rican Prostitutes
Well, prostitutes are pretty much the same throughout the world. Cartman sees them as the bus goes to Costa Rica's Capitol building. They had just exited a car and wave good-bye to its driver. They notice Cartman and look back, and ask him to take a picture.
El Presidente de Costa Rica
He does not speak English, so anything Miss Stevens says is beyond him. Mr. Mackey shows up to translate for her, and he relays to her what the President is saying. When the choir fails to show up for the Rain Forest Summit, he expresses his concerns to Mr. Mackey, who assures him the choir will show up. The president decides to pass the time by telling Pollack jokes to the people gathered for the event until then.
Pablo, the Rainforest Tour Guide
Unlike the president, he does speak English. He is given the task of taking Miss Stevens and the choir on a tour of the rainforest so they can learn more about its flora and fauna, and know what they're singing about. He starts telling them about the animals in the rainforest. When he's discussing the coral snake, it jumps from its tree and suffocates him, then swallows him whole.
People's Army Soldier
He stands silent while Miss Stevens and the choir, having lost Pablo, walk through the forest. Kyle bumps into him, and Miss Stevens thinks their trials are over. The soldier leads the choir to his camp, which turns out to be a military camp of the people's army. Miss Stevens realizes their trials are not over.
People's Army Leader
Miss Stevens talks to him, and finds that he, unlike the president, speaks English. When she asks if she could use a phone, he and his men just laugh at her, telling her the phone is next to the 12-person Jacuzzi. He is truly concerned for his country and its rainforest, as he makes clear to Miss Stevens later on. Some Costa Rican soldiers show up, and gunfire erupts. The leader signals for the choir to leave.
The Yanogapa
These are pygmy cannibals. They are little Indians with very large lips, but one of them is a giant to whom they offer human sacrifice. They dress Miss Stevens as a cheerleader and tie her up. The giant Yanogapa is about to eat her when the American loggers come to rescue the choir.
American Loggers
This is the forman for the hated American loggers who are responsible for destroying the rainforest with their bulldozers. The people's army certainly hates them, and Mrs. Stevens takes the choir to Costa Rica to protest against their actions, but the dangers of the rainforest change her opposition to support. She changes the lyrics on support of the rainforest to lyrics calling for its destruction.
Rain Forest Summit Announcers and Host
They are there to report on the Save The Rain Forest Summit, but comment on how rich Americans come to these events to convince themselves that they're not the ones responsible for the disappearing rainforest.