The Guest Stars of
"Chinpoko Mon"
by Wild Willie Westwood
Mr. Hirohito and Mr. Ose
Mr. Hirohito runs the Chinpokomon Toy Company, and Mr. Ose is his right-hand man. They try to convince Red Harris that they'll take care of any problems the Chinpokomon dolls cause, and of any defects found in the dolls. Then they flatter his penis, and he walks away a happy man. Hirohito then chastises Ose for overlooking this problem. Hirohito tracks the whereabouts of the Chinpokomon, which send out transmissions nightly back to the company. Using the info he gathers, he proceeds to the next step: Chinpokomon camps. He shows up dressed as an emperor and welcomes the kids to the camp. After a brief history of Japan he walks away and Mr. Ose gets the camp in motion. Later on, once the kids have returned from camp, they are fluent in some Japanese phrases. They are tested for influence of commercials on them, but they pass. Still, Mr. Ose leads them and the other kids in a march demanding the downfall of America, and later on he leads them to an air base so they can take to fighter jets and attack Pearl Harbor. All the while Mssrs. Hirohito and Ose flatter any and all adults about their tremendous penises.Hirohito even flatters the President's penis after President Clinton expresses to him the nation's concern over the large number of Japanese military bases formng in the U.S. It seems the Chinpokomon camps become Japanese military bases once the kids are indoctrinated to Japanese culture. The South Park kids reach their base and are set to go when the adults show up with Chinpokomon of their own. When the parents express their fondness for the toys, the kids lose all interest in them. After all, what fun is it enjoying a toy when your parents enjoy it as well? And so Hirohito's and Ose's plans were thwarted.
Ash, Eight, and a Japanese Woman
Ash and Eight are counterparts to Pokémon's Ash Ketchum and James, and Ash ends up being the Pied Piper of Chinpokomon, leading the kids to buy and collect all the Chinpokomon dolls and games, and further, to indoctrinate the kids in Japanese culture and longings to take Pearl Harbor once again. The Japanese lady appears everywhere, from corporate headquarters to the Pearl Harbor game the boys were playing. She's there as a constant reminder of what the kids are to do next. Below are some of the Chinpokomon dolls the kids encounter.
A Few Chinpokomon
Roostor, Roostallion, Lambtron, Pengin
Shoe, Furrycat, Chuchunezumi, Donkeytron