The Guest Stars of
"Are You There, God? It's Me, Jesus."
by Wild Willie Westwood
God
God has been talked about for ages, and his body parts have been described throughout the Bible, but no one has seen him. Oh, Jesus has come and we know what he looks like, but God the Father... well, we now have an idea of his appearance! Being the creator of all living animals, it makes sense that he have a bit of each one on him. And so the strange appearance he has. He was first seen when people demanded to see God after 2000 years of being promised such a viewing (Only Jesus knew what he looked like before then). During his comeback concert Jesus tells the audience God will soon appear. When that takes a bit longer than expected, the audience gets restless and God slowly descends to the stage and makes his appearance. He is seen again when Satan goes to heaven to ask a favor of him, and Saddam ends up there.
Miss Aliton and Craig Netzel, field reporter
Cartman runs up to the boys and declares that he's hit puberty - he's had his first period. The boys don't believe him, but ask the first woman they see what a period is. Miss Aliton tells them, and they come to believe Cartman. Blood did come out of his ass. The cause for that is found to be a colon infection, easily treated. Craig Netzel reports on the large crowd in front of Jesus' house demanding to see Him. Craig then follows Jesus to Las Vegas and reports on several events there, including on the crowd rioting for God to appear.
Rod Stewart, Nurse, Agent
Jesus arranges to stage a comeback concert on New Year's Eve 2000 in Las Vegas, with Rod Stewart as one of the guest stars. He meets Stewart's agent, who talks to him about the particulars of the show. Then Jesus meets Stewart himself, now in a wheelchair and hardly able to talk. Jesus can't get anywhere with Stewart, and finally calls upon the nurse to take Stewart away when Stewart poops in his pants. Stewart does perform in concert.