The Guest Stars of
"Scott Tenorman Must Die"
by Wild Willie Westwood
Scott Tenorman, his two buddies, and his parents
Scott Tenorman is a high-school student who sold some pubic hair to Cartman for $10. Stan and Kyle couldn't believe Cartman could be so ignorant about pubic hair. They told him that you hit puberty when grow your own pubic hair, not when you purchase them. Cartman slowly realizes he's been cheated and goes back to get his money. From there, he and Scott try to out-trick each other over several days. It all seems to lead to nowhere, until Cartman sets up a chili con carnival and invites Scott to it. Scott's buddies drop by to see what he's up to, and find him cooking up some chili. Scott arrives at the carnival with his own bowl of chili. Cartman offers Scott a special bowl of chili, which Scott eats eagerly. Then Cartman reveals what he did behind the scenes, when everyone else thought he was doing stupid things like training a pony how to bite off a frankfurter. Kyle and Stan unwittingly set the stage for Scott's parents' demise when they called to warn him of Cartman's weiner-biting pony plan. Cartman figured that Scott would not finish training the pony, and so would send his parents over to feed it. Thus did Cartman warn Mr. Denkins of two pony killers lurking about, and that night, Mr. Denkins sees the "killers" and shoots them dead on the spot. Cartman drags the bodies away and makes his chili from their meat and bones, and offers the chili to Scott, then tells him how he made it. Scott had made his chili with bunches of pubic hair from teens all over South Park and offered it to Cartman, but a fortuitous dish submitted by Chef makes a nice substitute for Scott's dish, which Cartman surmised was laden with pubic hair. So, while Scott ate his parents, Cartman was eating Chef's chili. But how did Cartman know to make chili? His mom taught him, as she had made chili for Cartman's birthday when Damien was in town.
Radiohead
This is the band that Scott likes quite a bit. He has pictures of them on his wall, and he has their albums as well. Cartman used this information to bait Scott one night by playing a tape of an interview featuring Radiohead, but he dubbed his voice over those of the band members. Cartman also invited the band members to meet this Scott Tenorman, and so they came to town, only to see Scott crying into the table. They taunted him and left.