The Guest Stars of
"It Hits The Fan"
by Wild Willie Westwood
HBC President and his staff
The president of HBC got an idea that would raise the raitings on the shows airing on his network. He will have one show use the word "shit" once, for one episode. When that proved to be a success, he and his staff got together to discuss what their next steps would be. At first they moved cautiously, having another show use the word twice. When that too was a success, they decided to keep using the word "shit" more and more often. Eventually, they decided to produce "Night of a Thousand Shits" in which most every words on the shows that night would be "shit." When the Knights of Standards and Practices got word of this, one of them went to the network offices, entered the boardroom, and warned the staff not to use the "word of curse." To make his point, he decapitated one of the board members, then flew out the window when security began firing at him. The Night went on as planned, but at a high price. The president was humiliated by the results.
People affected by the rampant use of the word "Shit"
Sam, Elderly Couple
Rick Watts, Peter and friend, and Librarian
Randy talks to Sam at the water cooler about the "groundbreaking" event to be shown on TV - the first time a network show would use the word "shit." Other coworkers join in the discussion.
The elderly couple comes out of a store using the word "shit" rather liberally.
Rick Watts is the first to die from using "shit" while reporting from a ranch. Peter's friend is the next shown to die, and the librarian is the third shown to die. All therr die the same way: the relentless use of "shit" triggered the (bubonic) plague among the citizens of South Park and among other Americans around the country, and the plague's last manifestation is vomiting one's intestines out through the mouth.
The Knights of the Royal Order of Standards and Practices
The Knights of Standards and Practices have been frozen in a large mound of ice for quite some time, but they are activated when the word "shit" reaches their ears in sufficient volume to break the ice apart. The ice falls away and they step forth. They start tailing Chef and the boys as they go about trying to find a way to stop "shit" from being used so much. This started when Kyle learned that the plague was started this way. The Knights do their own investigating, following other town members, and finally facing the president of HBC and his staff. Then they go to the studio which tapes the Drew Carey show and kill Drew and Mimi. The men at South Park's bar decide to stop watching TV as they see what the knights are doing. Things on screen go beyond the believable as the Geldon appears. Once the president sees where he went wrong, though, everything works out.
Excalibur barker, waitress, and sorcerer, The Geldon
Chef and the boys go to Las Vegas' Excalibur Hotel to see if they could find people who could help them out in deciphering the rune stone in their possession. The barker deflects their inquiries until Chef shows him the stone. Then he gets serious and leads them to the sorcerer. Along the way, he comes across a waitress, who joins them to the inner sanctum. Once there, the sorcere explains the presence of the Knights of Standards and Practices, and what the constant use of "shit" will lead to: the arrival of the Geldon. The geldon breaks through the floor after the HBC president finishes saying his stream of "shits" and promptly starts destroying the studio. The audience tries to scatter as Kyle aims the rune stone at the geldon, causing the geldon to go back through the floor and the floor to fix itself.
Drew Carey and Mimi
These two were unfortunate enough to say "shit" on the air, but the audience at home had long gotten tired of hearing "shit" so much. The Knights quickly came in and pinned Drew against a cubicle wall with a sword, killing him. They then decapitated Mimi.