The Guest Stars of
"The Super Best Friends"

by Wild Willie Westwood

The ones with shadows on their heads are men
David Blaine, Blainetologists (a sampling), Steven

David Blaine is a magician who started out on the streets, as we first see him perform some street magic. Once he finishes his act, he passes out material about Blainetology. Interested parties are invited to visit his complex outside of Denver, and many people go. Most of the attendees become converts, and receive haircuts and uniforms. All of them look the same, but there are ways to tell them apart. Steven is the guide for the new converts, indoctrinating them in the ways of Blainetology, and is essentially Blaine's right-hand man. Blaine does all the magic, Steven does all the teaching.

The Super Best Friends

Krishna, Buddha, Mohammed

Joseph Smith, Lao Tse, Sea-Man

Jesus we've already met. But he's got best friends, and most of them come from other religions. Sea-man comes from the sea. Each of these friends has one superpower or another. Krishna is the Hindu deity who has the power of morphing, and so can become any animal he wishes. Buddha has the power of invisibilility, and so can surprise his opponents in battle. Mohammed is the Muslim prophet with the power of fire, and so has the power to make instant statues from muddy clay. Jospeh Smith is the Mormom prophet with the power of ice, and so can freeze anything. Lao Tse is the found of Taoism and has the power of animation, so he can bring inanimate objects to life. Sea-Man has the ability to breathe underwater and link mentally with fish.

Princess, Laura, George, Karl, Larry, and Maggie
Elderly Woman, The cast of That's My Bush

The elderly woman was one of the people Cartman and Kyle visited as they went door to door, and she signed on as a potential convert. She and her husband were present at the Blaine concert. The cast of That's My Bush makes a cameo appearance here as it witnesses the Blainetologists killing themselves in the Reflecting Pool.


Statue of Abraham Lincoln and Statue of John Wilkes Booth

Blaine brought the statue of Abraham Lincoln to life in order to show just how much power he can wield. The super best friends responded to this by making a statue of John Wilkes Booth, as directed by Moses, the one super best friend who didn't leave the Hall of Super Best Friends. Krishna turns into a beaver to chop down some wood, Mohammed goes for some concrete, Sea-Man goes for some water from the sea, Jesus creates a mold from the wood Krishna chopped down, Joseph Smith helps Sea-Man pour the water and concrete into the mold, and Lao-Tse brings the statue to life. Booth then approaches Lincolm from behind and shoots him one. Lincoln falls forward and becomes inanimate again.