The Guest Stars of
"Asspen"
by Wild Willie Westwood
Phil and Josh, Aspen Police Officers
Phl and Josh are two salesmen who work for Aspen Heaven, and they try to get the visiting parents to invest in some time shares. The parents aren't biting. Still, every time the parents want to get away, the salesmen pull one trick or another to keep the parents in. First they try enticements, but they don't work. Then they move to sleight-of-hand by having the parents believe they'll finally get to ski, with express tickets, no less, only to have the ski lift bring them back to the meeting rooms. Finally they try coercion, as the police who were called in to set the parents free turned around and aimed at the parents. Phil revealed that all this was part of the plan to get new visitors to invest in time-shares, and he and Phil just weren't taking no for an asnwer, despite their insistence that the adults were free to leave at any time.
Tad Mikowsky and two friends, and Heather
Tad is the hot-shot skier who's so good he's got no competition in Aspen. When he sees Stan skiing he challenges him to a race just to show his girlfriend Heather that he can beat anyone, not just the natives. His two friends are never far away from him, and all three taunt Stan, or anyone else they feel like taunting. Tad beats Stan the first time and taunts him mercilessly after. At night all the kids gather at the youth center for a dance. Tad shows up and stops the music so he can sing a song to Stan. The song turns out to be yet another taunt. Stan decides to race him again so Tad would leave him alone, and Tad accepts. After Stan takes some crash courses in advanced skiing, he and Tad race, and Stan wins, with a little help, as shown below. Tad loses the race, and his father loses the chance to get the youth center.
Thumper, A Dorky Girl and her Creatures
Thumper teaches the bunny course for first-time skiers. He teaches the boys the basic moves, the pizza and the French fries. Stan calls upon him to teach some more advanced stuff for the ski run on K-13, and Thumper obliges, having Stan ski blind-folded and normally, and having one of the teenage girls help Stan out with the coursework. This girl is dorky, but she's good-hearted and good-looking. When Tad challenges Stan again, this girl places a condition on the challenge: if Tad loses, he and his father must stop trying to take the youth center from the youths who go there for recrreation. On the day of the second race she helps Stan win against Tad on K-13 by showing her breasts to Tad for a good long time. Stan skis past and eventually wins the race, and saves the youth center from falling into the hands of Tad's father. The girl shows the secret of her distraction at the end, as seen above.