The Guest Stars of
"Christian Rock Hard"
by Wild Willie Westwood
FBI Detective, Metallica, Britney Spears, U.S. Mail delivery driver
After the FBI agents stormed into Kyle's hosue to arrest him, Stan, and Kenny, an FBI detective grilled them for a few hours at one of its offices. He also grilled their parents. The boys, known as MOOP, agree not to download any more music, realizing that if MOOP becomes famous, its music will also be downloaded for free. The boys go on strike, but are alone in their action until other musicians hear of their strike. So in come Metallica and Britney, shown above, and a bunch of other acts. During the strike, a USPS driver shows up with a certified letter for MOOP. The letter invites MOOP to attend a platinum record award ceremony for Cartman's group, Faith + 1, and MOOP resolves to play music, regardless of financial gain. MOOP realizes that fans will buy the music if it is good.
Trinity, Sanctified
Trinity and Sanctified are two acts featured in Christfest. Trinity is playing when Faith + 1 looks at the stage for the first time. Sanctified is looking for backstage, and Cartman shows them where it is. He decides to pray with them for a bit, so he leads them into a small room and quickly locks them in. He also gets a chair and props it up against the door so Sanctified doesn't get out. Faith + 1 takes its place in the lineup.
T-Shirt and Bible Vendors, MC and stagehand, Elderly Woman
Some of the people in Christfest: the vendors selling T-Shirts and leather-bound Bibles, and the MC announcing the acts and stagehand getting them ready. An elderly woman buys a Faith + 1 album. Butters lets slip that they aren't really Christian, and the woman is stunned. She buys the album anyway.
Faith Records CEO and Executives
Finally there are people who work in the Christian rock industry. Faith Records representatives look over the lyrics and let Faith + 1 know they have reservations about some of them, despite their joy at the band's success. One of the representatives is Michael Collins, shown at left. He gives Faith + 1 a myrrh album, which ruins Cartman's bet with Kyle and causes Cartman to blaspheme Jesus.