The Secrets of
"All About Mormons?"

by Wild Willie Westwood, with sources from all over the Web

"Wow, looks like I don't have a class full of retards anymore, doesn't it, children?" - Looks like Wendy and Kyle have become as dumb as the rest of the kids.

"Who's Joseph Smith?" - Stan has forgotten about the Super Best Friends. :)

Who is Sarah?

Last time I saw someone so hospitable as Mr. Harrison was... Jack Skellington in The Nightmare Before Christmas, lol.

"Clubber Lange" - Mr. T's character in Rocky III.

More about Family Home Evening.

"Dad, did you know that that Joseph Smith guy read the Book of Mormon out of a hat?" - Several Mormons have written to say this isn't true.

All About Mormons!
Harnahoff, a faithful Mormon, writes about the faith. My comments in blue

Twelve people saw the gold plates, not Smith alone. Three of these eventually apostatized: Martin Harris, Oliver Cowdery, and David Whitmer. Cowdery and Whitmer were driven out of Missouri by 80 Mormons who signed a complaint that they were thieves and counterfeiters. Harris didn't see the plates with his own eyes, as the plates were covered with a cloth. Other sources say five more apostatized, so that only four of the twelve remained faithful. Compared to one apostate among the Twelve Apostles, this doesn't bode well for Mormonism's veracity.
Joseph Smith did not read out of a hat. Well, This article begs to differ.
God allowed Smith to show Harris the pages only after the third request, knowing all the while what would happen to them. Why God would acquiesce to Smith we shall soon see. He may have known that Harris would lose the pages, or that his wife would hide them or burn them. It seems that Smith, amd Moroni before him, had been translating the wrong tablets to begin with, and with Harris stealing the erroneous pages, Smith was finally given the correct ones to translate. Or so the story goes. This is a variation on the Protestant claim that the Christian world was in darkness for some 1500 years until the Reformation came along - the Native American world was in darkness until Joseph Smith came along.

All About Mormons?

What was shown in the episode? The known facts

Moroni says "Eventually, my people were all killed by the other tribe of Israel, and as punishment, God turned their skin red." There were many Indian tribes in the United States at the time (1820s). The other tribe Moroni refers to is the Lamanites. The Lamanites and Nephites were said to have battled near what is now Palmyra, New York, in 421 A.D. Moroni was of the Nephite tribe, and his father was Mormon, general of the defeated Nephites. A third tribe, the Jaredites, are also mentioned in the Book of Mormon. These would be three of the Ten Lost Tribes of Israel, which means Mormonism carries within it a version of the legend of the Ten Tribes of Israel.

Moroni says, "There is an ancient book buried near here, written on gold plates that account my people's lives. Also buried with the book are two seer stones, the Urim and Thummim, which will allow you to translate the writings." Smith then dug around and eventually found the box as described. That book was said to be buried atop Cumorah Hill, near Palmyra. The gold plates were said to be written in "Reformed Egyptian," which isn't known outside the Mormon faith. Professor Charles Anthon, of Columbia College, found no record of Reformed Egyptian anywhere, and so denied that such an alphabet existed. Indeed, the characters he saw were derived from various alphabets.

Smith says, "Now, when I put the seer stones into the hat, the ancient letter light up and change into English, which I can then read to you." This article mentions both a blanket and a hat being used, not together though: No Man Knows My History - Fawn Brodie. Either way, no one saw him reading from anything. A silhouette doesn't count.

Lucy says, "All right, here. I'm gonna hide these pages. If Joseph Smith really is translating off of golden plates, then he'll be able to do it again. But if Joseph Smith is making it all up, then the new translations will be different from these." Harris later explains to Smith that the pages, apparently from the book of Lehi, are lost, and he'd like a new copy. Smith instead translates from the book of Nephi and does not provide a fresh copy of Lehi. See #3 in the box above. The effect is still the same: the new scriptures were different from the old, even with divine sanction.

"...the first man and woman lived in Missouri, and that Native Americans came from Jerusalem..." Science says the first man and woman came from Africa, Christian teaching says they came from Iraq, or Mesopotamia, as two of the rivers are plainly there - the Tigris and the Euphrates. Atlantis is also said to be the Garden of Eden. Stories outside the Mormon Church exist about Israelites coming to America before the time of Jesus.

All About Mormons Scriptures?

and, another parody of the whole thing...

All About Mormons?
What was shown in the episode?	The known facts
Moroni says "Eventually, my people were all killed by the other tribe of Israel, and as punishment, God turned their skin red."	There were many Indian tribes in the United States at the time (1820s). The other tribe Moroni refers to is the Lamanites. The Lamanites and Nephites were said to have battled near what is now Palmyra, New York, in 421 A.D. Moroni was of the Nephite tribe, and his father was Mormon, general of the defeated Nephites. A third tribe, the Jaredites, are also mentioned in the Book of Mormon. These would be three of the Ten Lost Tribes of Israel, which means Mormonism carries within it a version of the legend of the Ten Tribes of Israel.
Moroni says, "There is an ancient book buried near here, written on gold plates that account my people's lives. Also buried with the book are two seer stones, the Urim and Thummim, which will allow you to translate the writings." Smith then dug around and eventually found the box as described.	That book was said to be buried atop Cumorah Hill, near Palmyra. The gold plates were said to be written in "Reformed Egyptian," which isn't known outside the Mormon faith. Professor Charles Anthon, of Columbia College, found no record of Reformed Egyptian anywhere, and so denied that such an alphabet existed. Indeed, the characters he saw were derived from various alphabets.
Smith says, "Now, when I put the seer stones into the hat, the ancient letter light up and change into English, which I can then read to you."	This article mentions both a blanket and a hat being used, not together though: No Man Knows My History - Fawn Brodie. Either way, no one saw him reading from anything. A silhouette doesn't count.
Lucy says, "All right, here. I'm gonna hide these pages. If Joseph Smith really is translating off of golden plates, then he'll be able to do it again. But if Joseph Smith is making it all up, then the new translations will be different from these." Harris later explains to Smith that the pages, apparently from the book of Lehi, are lost, and he'd like a new copy. Smith instead translates from the book of Nephi and does not provide a fresh copy of Lehi.	See #3 in the box above. The effect is still the same: the new scriptures were different from the old, even with divine sanction.
"...the first man and woman lived in Missouri, and that Native Americans came from Jerusalem..."	Science says the first man and woman came from Africa, Christian teaching says they came from Iraq, or Mesopotamia, as two of the rivers are plainly there - the Tigris and the Euphrates. Atlantis is also said to be the Garden of Eden. Stories outside the Mormon Church exist about Israelites coming to America before the time of Jesus.

The Secrets of"All About Mormons?"

by Wild Willie Westwood, with sources from all over the Web

All About Mormons!

All About Mormons?

All About Mormons Scriptures?

Setting the Record Straight

The Secrets of
"All About Mormons?"