The Guest Stars of
"The Spirit of Christmas: Jesus vs. Santa"
by Wild Willie Westwood
Santa Claus and Brian Boitano
Main Appearance: Spirit of Christmas II - Jesus vs. Santa
Santa Claus is the object of Jesus' wrath when Jesus comes to reclaim Christmas for himself. Jesus and Santa fight using various techniques while the boys argue amongst themselves. Stan stops the arguing to wonder what Brian Boitano would do. Cartman jests, but Brian skates in and asks who called him. Stan asks him whom Brian would choose in a fight: Jesus or Santa? Brian tells the boys not to think that way and reminds them what the season is all about. He leaves. Stan and Kyle then remind Jesus and Santa how each of them has meaning for the other on Christmas, and Jesus and Santa stop fighting and apologize to each other. Jesus offers Santa an orange smoothie. Santa returns to sing duets with Jesus, then again to give presents to the Iraqis. He is shot down and loses his sleigh and all eight reindeer. His knees are broken. He is tortured by shock treatment to the balls and swears to kill the soldiers for doing that. Jesus saves him, heals his knees, and leads him and the boys out of the torture room. Santa picks up where Jesus left off after Jesus is shot dead by a soldier. Santa fires at the soldiers with two automatic machine guns until all his ammo is spent, then takes off. He returns when he remembers why he is there in the first place, then bombs the Iraqis with Christmas presents and changes their weapons and poor food into Christmas treats and presents. He leaves some presents for the boys after he drops them off at South Park, makes a speech dedicating Christmas to Jesus for dying for Santa so that Santa could deliver his presents once more, and rides off.