The Guest Stars of
"South Park: Bigger, Longer, & Uncut"
by Wild Willie Westwood
Gregory from Yardale, Christophe the Mole and his mom
Gregory is the new kid in school, and he's struck up a nice rapport with Wendy. Stan watches as Wendy gets closer to Gregory. When Stan and Kyle gather the kids around for the first La Resistance meeting, Gregory arrives with a well-defined plan to rescue Terrance and Phillip, and so takes over the meeting. Wendy admires that quite a bit in Gregory, as well as his political temperament. Gregory volunteers to rescue Terrance and Phillip, but Stan protests, drafting Kyle to join him in the rescue. Once Stan gets his confidence Wendy drops Gregory and goes back to Stan. The Mole appears when the boys visit him for the first time at Gregory's suggestion. His mom appears first, telling the boys that Christophe has been grounded. She lets them talk to him for one minute, though. Christophe arrives and agrees to help the boys rescue Terrance and Phillip - the Mole will dig the tunnel to get the Canadian duo out. This is part of a three-tiered plan: if the Mole fails to free the duo, Stan and Kyle were to stop their execution. If that didn't work, and the duo survived, then all the kids were to gather around the duo and protect them with their lives. Christophe digs the tunnel to get the duo out, but is chased back in by the guard dogs and mauled severely. He dies in Kyle's arms.
Dr. Gouache, Dr. Vosknocker
Dr. Gouache is the lead doctor who operates on Kenny after Kenny's rushed into emergency with third-degree burns over most of his body. After much activity, thhe doctor closes Kenny up and waits. In the afternoon Kenny comes to, only to learn he's got a baked potato for a heart. It bursts and Kenny dies. Dr. Vosknocker designs a V-chip that goes right into a person's skull rather than into the TV. It shocks a person who tries to use a swear word. Dr. Vosknocker tries his new chip out on Cartman, who moves around with it for the rest of the movie.
Four-star General and the Army
First the army: MAC (Mothers Against Canada) use it to arrest Terrance and Phillip, then to round up any Canadians or Canadian-Americans and send them off to concentration camps. Then it's called in to battle the Canadians, and the General makes his appearance then. He outlines how the Army would take out the Canadians, but calls in Bill Gates when his display starts having problems. Bill Gates starts getting technical on the General, and the General shoots him dead. The General then hosts the USO show with Sheila Broflovski and leads the charge after the Canadian Air Force attaacks the show. He and his top brass take cover when Canadian tanks rumble into view. The Americans, after a long fight, come out victorious. They then go after Terrance and Phillip, looking for them for a while. The General sees them and the army bears down on them. The General is ready to have them shot when the kids appear and call for the men to not shoot. Sheila handles this matter until she shoots Terrance & Phillip dead. Satan then rises out of Hell, as he said he would when Canadian blood touched the soil, and had both armies bow before him. The General is suddenly afraid of what the whole battle led to - Satanic dominion over all the earth.
Yippie, the back-flipping dog and Guard dogs
Yippie is the performing dog of the USO show, and he would do backflips for the troops. But the thing is, he didn't know when to stop. Even while the Americans and the Canadians were warring against each other, Yippie was right there doing his flips. The guard dogs came after Christophe when Sheila saw him emerge from the tunnel he dug. Christophe dropped back in and tried to get back to the boys, but the dogs caught up to him and chewed on him quite a bit.
William Baldwin, Conan O'Brien, Brooke Shields
Brian Dennehy, Bill Gates, Winona Ryder
The Baldwin brothers were bombed by the Canadians. One of them escaped the bombing and came out to taunt the Canadian pilots, but there was one more pilot trailing the others, and that pilot bombed him. Conan O'Brien hosted his own late night show and had Terrance and Phillip on as guests. Little did they know that Conan was acting in concert with MAC and the U.S. government in order to trap the Canadian duo. They reminded Conan of the times they spent together in younger days, and Conan realized he had just betrayed them. He threw himself out the window and landed on a car below. The driver simply turned off the car alarm without looking at the body on the car's roof. Brian Dennehy pops in as the boys sing "What Would Brian Boitano Do?" but leaves when told he's not the Brian they're singing about. Bill Gates is brought in to explain why Windows 98 isn't working for the General. He launches into some technical stuff and the General shoots him did point blank. Winona Ryder performs her ping-pong ball trick, but it isn't what it appears to be.
Canadian Ambassador and Minister of Movies, Canadian Air Force, Canadian Army
Head of the UN, UN delegates, US Ambassador
The Canadian Minister of Movies appeared in a news segment via satellite to argue with Sheila Broflovski about the negative impact of Canadian movies on America's youth. The UN delegates all gather to hear the dispute between the U.S. and Canada over Terrance & Phillip's influence over American kids and the U.S. response in wanting to execute the Canadian duo. The Canadian Ambassador discussed the importance of Terrance and Phillip to the Canadian economy in an appeal to prevent the U.S. government from executing Terrance and Phillip. The Canadian Air Force was the first Canadian armed force to attack the U.S., by bombing the Baldwin house, and then by striking first during a U.S.O. show. The Canadian army attacked soon after, first on foot, then by army tanks. After the deaths of Terrance and Phillip, both armies were made to bow down before Satan and Saddam Hussein.
The Clitoris
...Whatcha expect? She appeared to Stan to remind him that he had to save Terrance and Phillip, but she also advised him on what he had to do to get Wendy back. She told him he had to get confidence, 'cause that's what chicks love. Gregory had plenty of confidence, which is why Wendy fell away from Stan, so Stan had to get some confidence of his own to get Wendy back. He got it, and it worked.