[No particular place, night. Two people have just finished talking about the marital status of one Matt Stone, erstwhile South Park co-creator and writer]
| Willie Westwood: | [leans over, smiles, and bats his eyes at her, whispering in a low, husky voice] | I hear you like the smart ones. Do you like me? [grins, bats his eyes again and withdraws a bit] Chrissaaay: | [Grins, blushes, looks down at the floor, then looks back up to her clutched hands, where she fixes her gaze and assuredly, yet in low tones, replies] | Absolutely. MrTweek: | [passing by] You guys suck! [throws up violently and runs away]
| Willie Westwood: | [looks up as MrTweek runs away] | Did someone say something? Oh, it's just him, with just underwear on and an erection piercing through it. Oh well, let's get back to nuzzling… [does so, then remembers] 14-year-olds make me laugh. [Chrissaaay smiles and heaves at Mr. Tweek an entire airplane's supply of special little white bags, and some clothes. Willie's eyes meet hers again and they draw close to each other. Their noses touch and stay there for a few seconds. Then he rises and offers his arm. A sea song stirs in his heart] Shall we walk to the end of the pier and look out over the sea? Shall we make a painting together and look at it lovingly? Shall we hold hands and run along The sands of Port Hueneme? And spelonk in the caves and the grottos nearby For stones and other debris? Chrissaaay: | [looks up to see the outstretched hand of a similar heart, raises hers to his and in her own mind echoes a sea song of her own part:] | Isn't it strange what the heart compels? A magnet, your touch, the only thing that quells This excitement, this state of bliss That weakens my will at this place of near kiss. So away the fear dissolves When looking past your hand into your deep eyes that fix upon me with great scope to analyze This young heart in your hands.
So I reach for your hand,
In the water we will splash Willie Westwood: | [ponders the free-flowing poem of this Gypsy by his side, then proceeds to paint a journey with words] | You truly are a Gypsy. Of this I have no doubt. Just like Esmeralda, you wander in and out. Come; take my heart to exotic places, off to lands with open spaces Oh wait! I think I have a lamp! Oh, what a lovely spout. And… [rubs it and a golden light fills the cave]
I shall be your Prince Charming, if Cinderella you're to be
A crab and scorpion do I see walking on the sand
The scorpion, I have read, was born on the first part
Ah! The shoe. Let me look. …I have the other one. [Willie puts the shoe on Chrissaaay and stands up. They are at the side of the road on a stretch of beach marked with secret caves. One cave leads to another, hidden beach with smooth stones while another leads out into the sea.] Chrissaaay: | [answering] | Gypsy by fate I may be, But you are the Phantom dream I often see. Whether in a sunny, wide-open space, Or within the safe shelter of a dark cave, It is your golden light I secretly hope to save.
Oh, Prince Charming, my most precious gypsy love,
The crab and the scorpion play like children
We stand here at the side of the road
You've rubbed the lamp [At this point, some music drifts in from the distance, music from days before the birth of either one] A voice: | da woo wap | da woo wap shoo bee doo baaaaa [some girlish giggles follow] Willie Westwood: | [looks around.] | Who or what was that? A cockcroach or a gnat? I look above, I look below, I look behind and lo!
An angel flits about
First wish, new wish, wishing by the sea [suspense, then a ballad feel]
First wish… [the genie obliges, and the two are suddently transported to Hawaii, to a beach prepared just for them. The first wish unfolds, and sometime during the unfolding, when the mood has gotten just right, Willie looks at Chrissaaay and whispers]
Now my cherished Gypsy love I've this to give to you [The two spend the rest of this fantasy evening underneath the stars, embraced in each other's arms] [Dawn, next day, on the beach. Underneath a brilliant sun and a crisp blue sky, Will and Chrissaaay rub their eyes and stretch. Around them the beach scene is already active. Surfers hang ten from end to end of the horizon. Shops along the seaside road have opened up, and customers go in and out. One disgruntled customer walks out with a plain cup of coffee]
| Daisy: | Why oh why can't the people at Prêt À Manger get their order right just once? I mean, it's not that hard. I ask for a latte, they give me a cappucino. I ask them to change it and the give me a latte without chocolate or sugar, so by now i'm late for work so i just accept this and not enjoy my coffee. What is the world coming to????
| [Chrissaaay and Will get up and walk along the shore. Somewhere down the road, they come across a sad but quiet girl, who suddenly opens up]
| Shrym: | As I walk on the morning sand | I wish for someone to come hold my hand I sit near the shore and it laps my toes I go to a place where I have no woes I go to my place where no one knows how to abuse or to create foes But as I wake I know I have to go back to reality where sadness grows Chrissaaay: | [notices despondent Shrym on the beach by the water and proceeds to console her like a big sister.] | Oh, dearest Shyrm At your young age There is plenty of time To work through the rage So that when the time is right You'll be ready to find proper love Within your sight [Willie walks a bit further and sits on a bench, taking in the fresh sea air]
As Willie said,
So go on and be glad Minkie Boodle: | [another girl, skipping brightly down the road, looks up into the palms] | Hey look in the tree! Is that a cat that I see? Willie Westwood: | [looks up to see something rustling up there, and a small gray cat peeks its head through the palm leaves] | Aye, it's a cat that you see. It's curious, though, to me To see a cat in a tree Where no cat ought to be Let me try to go up the tree And coax the cat to come to me And bring him down in a bag for thee Here I go! [repels up the tree]
…Here, kitty-kitty [Chrissaaay and Will arrive at the Prêt À Manger the disgruntled customer mentioned earlier. They order two cappucinos royale and seek out a quiet booth in which to enjoy the cappucinos. Chrissaaay speaks]
| Chrissaaay: |
First wish granted | And, wow, what a time, This fun we’re having in Our great meeting of the minds.
Splashing in the water,
Your stories and jokes
It’s just the genie [Pauses, thoughtfully, gazes at Willie and blushes as she quickly looks down. She whispers to the genie her wish’s sight – for it is one to save for later, when the timing’s just right. The audience hears Chrissaaay telling her wish to the Genie, while Willie’s eyes smile with surprise in the wonderment of what’s to be]
The second wish,
And in this kiss
And in return he will [Chrissaay and Willie raise their cups to sip. The Genie, now campily dressed in a white shirt and Prêt À Manger apron, begins to speak her reply to Chrissaaay's whispered wish] Genie: |
A kiss like this | Would be a crime to miss, And so your wish shall surely come true. But I should say That Prêt À Manger Is not the best place To get to first base. Chrissaaay: |
Then take us to a place | Of Wide open space Where the mood is just right, Sometime late at night Beneath a full shining moon And so very soon Our soft lips will meet -- That would be sooo sweet [The genie smiles at Chrissaaay and snaps her fingers twice. Will and Chrissaaay find themselves sitting Indian style facing each other on the sandy beach at night, on the deserted side of the island. The water ripples with the moonlight as a soft ocean breeze flows over the edge of the sand]
| Chrissaaay: | [to Willie, as Genie has left the scene] | Well here we are Beneath the stars Just you and me And the open sea
This all began [Chrissaaay takes both of his hands in hers, her eyes gleaming bright of newfound love and nervous delight. Their eyes lock and faces slowly come together. One last moment - that feels like forever - then their soft lips meet in a light dance of butterfly kisses that come at the start of a new romance.] Willie: | Well, you know, I like you, too. You're one I'm honored to know. The answer to one question is, a sphere. That's the answer to the triple integral. As to others, there's plenty of time… |
[rubs the lamp once more, and the genie appears] [the genie smiles and gets busy. A large tent appears on the beach, with a table for two inside. A bottle of wine rests in an ice-filled bucket, and some delicacies await the pair for consumption. Dinner begins. More wine appears as needed as this private dinner progresses, but finally the pair decides to dance. Slow music plays from a magic record player. Will and Chrissaaay dance cheek to cheek — no two ever fit so well in each other's arms! Ah, the ecstacy! They then enter the tent to change clothes and appear again wrapped in towels. They walk towards the water's edge and remove their towels, heading into the ocean for some frolic] Willie: | [in the water] | This is the third wish That I have that dance with you And a stroll by the beach, a dip in the water Without any clothes… In here we can explore What no one else can see Let's go out further and catch some waves Let's go body-surfing! [they spend a few hours in the sparkling water under the kona moon, swimming together, chasing each other, embracing and dropping underwaer to kiss. At length they emerge from the water and wrap themselves in towels again. They enter the tent, change clothes and emerge, only to find the genie waiting for them] Genie: |
It's time for me to take my leave | And you lovers to enjoy The wishes I have granted you; Their contents, go employ. And now I'll take this lamp with me For in it's where I restfully Await the next beachcomber, see, To make his wishes three. Willie and Chrissay: | Thank you for everything — the way the wishes were fulfilled was simply wonderful. Thanks again. | [The genie disappears, along with the tent and everything in it. Chrissaaay and Will are left alone, looking into each other's eyes] You know, even without those wishes Even with nothng but knishes I could never tire Of looking into your eyes [they begin to dance slowly, without music]
The music of the heart is moving us
But this just can't go on forever [they stop and look around, finding nothing to do. Is that it? Time to return to reality, to the safe anonimity of the Internet?]
Wait, my dear, there's one more thing [a soft glow soon surrounds them, and they take notice. They look at each other again, and this is what they see: In Willie Chrissaaay sees Aladddin now, and in Chrissaaay Willie sees Jasmine. A carpet appears next to their feet.] …just one more thing… [he and Chrissaaay step onto the carpet] …a whole new world. [he smiles broadly at the wonderful surprise on her face, the fairly noticeable beating of her heart. He reaches towards her, his fingers touching her wrists. She responds, intertwining her fingers with his. The arms of each slowly wrap around the body of the other. Their faces meet and they gaze into each other's eyes, then they kiss. A long, passionate kiss, the kind of kiss Disney movies like to linger on. The carpet lifts off, hovers in the soft glow, and whisks them away into the sky towards the horizion. Will embraces Chrissaaay as they both face the wind and let it flow through their hair. This once-deserted beach is deserted once again, given back to the night] [Next day, the populated beach. The two teenage girls return from separate directions. They are the same ones we saw yesterday, one despondent, the other curious. The despondent one is happy today and spots the other girl. The gray cat, too, has returned to the tree he was in yesterday, but is now seated at its base. Shrym gets Minkie's attention]
| Shrym: |
Hey Minkie, look a cat! | OoooH look at that! Look at that, its a cat! I'm so glad its not a rat |